Sometimes in life, people have to go through aggravation and depression to be the person that they wanna be - strong.
But sometimes in life, we cannot always be strong for a certain thing as other emotions rule over. There was a saying that i heard quite a number of times in repeat on hallmark channel on the show army wives. It goes something like this;
" Why are you trying so hard to be strong? At the end of the day, what does strong get you? "
Well, i have my answer to that.
" For me, being strong is trying to be happy. Everyday i try to be strong, to be happy because i know if i breakdown and cry, i'll never be happy. So, at the end of the day, what does strong get me? Happiness. Thou it may not be the kind of happiness that i want, its still happiness. I'm still happy. Sometimes, i don't get it on the day itself. Sometimes it takes days, weeks or even months. But, i know, with god's willing, i'll be a better person than i used to be. I know i'll never be that fragile person anymore. Cause at the end of everything, being strong makes me gain something. "

Some of you may wonder, why the hell am i babbling all this crap and bullshit. Well, my fellow readers, i have been suppressing my feelings way too much. I've given the benefit of the doubt to alot of people who have hurt my feelings but i don't tell them cause why? I don't like being pitied. But sometimes, i wish, one person could be there for me always. Helping me stay strong and not bring me down to my guts. Yes, i know you have difficulty in me, but i'm not someone who can tolerate most of the things you did. Why i do still? Its because i ______. Its because i want to ______ you. Its because you meant ________. I don't ask you to be compasionate or feel all lovey-dovey. Just to think of me for once. I don't cheat on you. I don't busted you. I don't want to. I don't want you to leave me. If i would want to do all this, i would have done, a long time ago. Before reaching that 1 mark.

I've been tolerating with my emotions just to compensate with yours. I'm not that kind of girl that can control my emotions well. Ask around. Ask my CP groupmates, ask my classmates, ask my family for gods sake. Only when i'm with you, i change everything. Just for you. I'm not regretting anything. I'm doing this with the kindest and pure-st heart, but sometimes, i feel that you don't get me. I feel that you don't listen to me. I feel sad sometimes, but i cannot always complain cause i know it'll upset you. But if you keep on saying i'm cheating on you, i'm this and i'm that, it triggers my unhappiness and i'm afraid i might blast everything out to you cause i'm swallowing all my emotions.

I love you. Only you.
Why is it so hard to believe that you're the only one for me? Yes, i know you cannot give me everything i want. But, you are everything i want. I never asked you to be perfect. All i ask is from you is to:
Look.
Listen.
Feel.
Look for my facial expression.
Listen to my tone of voice, my reasons, my heart.
Feel me always.
Too much to ask?

THERES JUST ONE THING I CANNOT LIVE W/O,
And its you.