* edited.
day: friday.

When I’m not talking to you, I’m thinking of you.

When you’re away, I’m hurting inside for you.

Heart sinking,
Belly aching,
Mind numbing,
Hurt for you.

I miss you.

When I’m talking to you, I’m thinking of us.

When you’re with me I come alive.

Heart beating,
Belly flying,
Mind racing,
Alive for you.

I love you.

i woke up at 0645. due to revision last night till 3am and i overslept. tskk. met up with boyfriend at interchange. i was already moody in the morning and i tried my best to not show it infront of boyfriend. but it somehow got out. so yeah. i cried infront of nisa. i told her every single thing that i felt yesterday and this morning. and she told me what happened yesterday at RSAF. what she saw. arghh. stressed ): practical, we did PBL presentation. it was quite alright. laugh abit here and there. but still didn't had the mood. and i was dying to know what happened at RSAF. so i asked him and i got to know the answer, thank god it wasn't that killing. but it killed me abit. yes you, it did.

behavioural science there after. talked to siti. haha. she has funny stories, (: *please eh siti, bace ni takmo kembang please. lol* i just hope this sunday jadi. lau tak jadiiiii, wah sot ah! haha. anyways, met boyfriend at cafe two. he was with hafiz, one life skills teacher, helmi, nabil and hakim. uh huh. talktalk. laughlaugh. then left. met nashrun. then i got to know something. i feel sad for nashrun. really i do. but heyy, like what you told me last time, kalau takde jodoh takmo sedih ok. cheer up friend. you still have your faithful members around you, (:

walked to simei. lepak. played taitee. then safwan joined us. yadayadayada. dispersed at around 3 plus 4? me and boyfriend went to do more further lepaking. uh huh. hehe. left at around 7 plus coming 8. umi called me. she told me something. i was damn fucking pissed off i tell you. nabei toottoot. daripade bukan hal aku sekarang name aku termasok. wahhhhhhhhh, sot ah! boyfriend listened to the conversation too. i managed to laugh. despite being hell pissed. anyways, after that, he sent me home. then now, here i am. hah! obviously kan. anyways, boyfriend went out for pencak. i'm just hoping and praying that he'll be ok and he's hand will recover soon. uh huh.

alright then. i'm gonna do some revision. and ohoh! before i forget, i got 41/50 seh for my clinical nursing test. nabei. didn't expect it at all siak. ahha. i thought i'll be like, just pass or 3o gitu. skali, fulermak. ahha. highest babe, (: alhamdulilah, terima kasih allah. ok then. ohoh! before i forget again.

to this certain someone la eh, whoever who terase tu kau peh pasal.
please eh. from aku takde kene mengene ngan korang peh arguement, teros name aku ade. ape ni sia? this problem is about you and her and him. not me. why must i be in this situation? why must my name be there? and why must you ungkit about the past? fcuk betol. kau tu, dah potong jalan orang tu buat hal potong jalan orang ah! and please eh, at that point of time, she was interested in someone else and she only has a crush on him! get your facts right you bitch! and you better make sure to not babitkan name aku ngan matair aku lagi. so much for, THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP WHEN I'M SICK!



" don't take me for granted. "

day: thursday.

same morning routine. i cried in the morning. hahahahahahaha. whatever laa. combine lecture cam merepek. i feel like slapping each and eveyone faces. sumer perangai cam anjing betol. lifeskills. apape la eh. gadohgadohgadoh. fucking pissing me off siak. break. ate with umi. didn't have the appetite at all also laa. whatever la. practical, did PBL at com lab. done with school. ran with aziza from 6th to 5th to 4th floor. then up by lift to 6th floor then ran half a round. done with it. bathed. waited for boyfriend to come back. lepak with him. then went to meet safwan. lepak. home.

don't piss me off this next few days till monday. cause i swear i'll give you a fucking peice of my mind. classmates and whoever la eh, remember. thanks.
ps; no fucking mood.



" hold on to your words cause talk is cheap. "

day: wednesday.

in the morning, went to school with boyfriend as per normal. something ruined my mood for awhile but it got back to normal soonafter. first lesson was theory, clinical nursing. did PBL. yadayada. break. headed to simei BK to eat. then back to school. chillek outside locker. at one we had sim training on pre op and post op care. ended at three. half and hour break. then we had no pe lesson but theory test thingy. did it. then met teacher. met boyfriend. headed down to simei. lepak with safwan and nashrun. six plus headed home. chillek with boyfriend for awhile and here i am now updating, (:

nothing much happened today so its gonna be a short post. uh huh. tomorrow, i don't think i'll be updating cause i know i'll be damn tired. combine lecture in the morning. then life skills. then after that break. then practical. then break. then theres no pe. so me, ziza and some others will be doing rounds after school. then shower. wait for boyfriend to come back to school. uh huh. then go home with him. yupp.

to some people, stop being irritating. before i give one good punch to your bloody face. seriously, you are testing my fucking patience and its fucking irritating and its fucking pissing me off. so i beg off you to please stop being fucking irritating cause its not fucking worth it.



" remember me tonight when you are asleep. "

day: tuesday.

diyy is bored. diyy is in behavioural science class. diyy needs to sleep. helpppp! haha, (: dramamama or what sia. tskkk. anyways, accompanied by ally on text now. haha. this girl doesn't know how to study. toot betol. hehe. &oh, boyfriend was late today morning. then when he came he said to me, " tadi ade maid message i. " haha. i was laughing already cause i texted him in bahasa indonesia. huhu. cute uh matair aku. sayang dier, (:

schooled with him. bus ride was ok. we talked. haha. ummirah was kutoking people as usual. then she memalukan me infront of boyfriend by saying that i lose in taitee matches. tskk! thanks eh siti. lol. whatever it is. first period, life skills. helped atiqah with her problem for awhile. then played taitee. woots. aku menang banyak kali nari. * kembang and suke ok. * haha. after that, now la kirekan. haha. dope kepe!

mr john nah, if you're reading this, GET WELL SOON! (: ok, gotta go now. have to do norms. blearghhh. and oh, don't text me for the time being. busy studying. hehe. bye!


" you're impossible to find. "

day: monday.

guess what, i woke up like late today! haha. i was supposed to wake up at my normal time which was o43o like that but i woke up at o63oam sia today. tskk. thanks to watching army daze yesterday i think. huhu. but didn't regret it thou. its been quite sometime since i last watch that show anyway. so yeah. why not for the sake of the laughing spirit? haha. talked to boyfriend for awhile then slept after texting him. uh huh. when i realised that i woke up super late, i quickly bathed, did my prayers, eat, iron uniform, make breakfast for mum then straight away go down to meet boyfriend. haha. kanchiong babe. in the end, i still reach first, (:

school with him. then everyone was like tension cause of the behavioural science test. uh huh. first lesson life skills, practically didn't do anything except playing taitee. haha. then after that had clinical nursing theory. did on problem based learning. boringggggggg. seriously. i rather have theory lessons then PBL. shared a couple of things with my CA. uh huh. break. didn't eat. i mean like proper food. studied. after that was practical. but replaced by PBL again. thank god it lasted for one hour and the other hour was used for revision for behavioural science test.

proceeded to mlt thereafter. did the test. alhamdulilah it was alright. after the test, studied about perceptions then home. walked with boyfriend, michelle, nando, wafir and lokman. standard hisap rokok people. haha. then after that me and boyfriend lepak at simei, (((((:

which by coincidence, multazam and maziana bump into us at a certain place. haha. that time i was slow talking with boyfriend cause he was pissed at something. you, i swear you look cute when you're angry ah. hehe. talkedtalkedtalked. then ok already. hehe. lepak there till about 8 plus going to 9. made our way back home and here i am now updating. yupp. off now. i wanna eat. pray. bathe. revise a little bit. perhaps wait for boyfriend to call. if not sleep. i'm tired/exhausted really.

lim baby;
thank you for today. i enjoyed it muchmuch.
tomorrow will be your day ok. hehe.
i love you sayang. mwahmwah! (:




" wanna find you there wanna hold on tight. "

day: sunday.

alright. haha. taking a break from studying. uh huh. i realized that i couldn't concentrate after eating durian cake. huhu ;D i just finished watching the prize presentation for the basketball olympics. congratulations to USA for winning. i mean like, they have to win ah. its a shame if they don't cause all the NBA all star players are there. haha. so yeah. whatever.

decided to stay home today. lazy to go out. mums home. brothers home. so just stay home uh. save money also. furthermore its raining. haha. boyfriends out. grrr. that boy can't seem to stay home for a whole day. haha! biase gak. tengok la matair sape. huhu. anyways, i'm hungry. i've yet to eat. i don't know why suddenly i attack on that durian cake. lol. its been a long time since i ate durian. and the feeling is so mmmmmmmm.... haha! ok da. sikit je takle banyak-banyak.

somebody, buy me a caramel frappe. and kidnap my boyfriend for me and bring him here. haha. i miss him like crazy. grrr. geram! &oh, i did this after i finished my revision on memory and forgetting. haha.

this shows how much i miss him. grrrr. and this also shows how much i love him and only him. ingat selalu tau you. ok da. saya mahu makan nasi dan sardine dan telor dan sayur. saya lapar deh. jemput makan ye semua. hehe.

lim baby,
diyy sayang lim selalu ok. hehe.
forever and ever babe, (:
can't wait for next week.
its the last before the bulan puase comes.
make sure you do what you have to do ok sayang?
* wide smile * mwahmwahmwahmwah!


" don't leave me tonight. "

ok, saya back to update. yesterday, home with boyfriend. tak sangke betol. some know why, (: but alhamdulilah. we did go back together. lepak with wan and nashrun for awhile then went home. settled some differences with him. went home. the thought of watching fireworks with classmate was totally far from my mind due to some problems. nevermind. i hope they had fun thou, (: went to meet mum at bedok interchange. went to aunts place. accompanied by boyfriend on the phone. uh huh. chillek there. talktalktalk. went off at i'm not sure what time. texted with boyfriend. slept at 3 plus. yupp.

today, saya pergi ke sekolah, (: haha! went to take notes from miss chng. saw april. i thought who sia shout my name, sekali dier. haha. took the notes. i cleared my locker, LIKE FINALLY. haha. then went off. thought of meeting boyfriend. sekali tak jadi. so i studied alone. and managed to cover some chapters. then made my way to aunts place cause i don't want to worry boyfriend so much. uh huh. so here i am now, (:

i'm watching the olympics. the synchronization in the pool thingy. gerek dok. haha. studying back again soon. after i eat. ok done.

sayangsayang,
diyana sayang taslim sorang ok.
diyana tidak sayang orang lain. taslim sorang sahaja.
diyana tidak akan busted taslim ok. takmo risau.
sayang taslim selalu. mwah, (:


" diriku tanpamu apa artinya cinta. "

updating now, in behavioural science class. haha. attitude kan? who cares. uhm, the past few weeks has been on the down side for me. really it has been. more and more problems accumilating on this small head of mine. its gods test. i accepted his test and now i think i'm failing. * eyes widen * i hope i can pass. and insyaallah the reward is great, (:

everyday after school home with boyfriend. its the first time. haha. but i don't think today i'll be going home with him. oh wells. four days is enough? don't think so. haha. its alright. i confined in myself. i can act better now. huhu.

off to see fireworks with classmates today. hope so. not really that confirmed. don't know laaa. haha. * diyy, you're stressing yourself for no reason * shithead. sucker :D

boyfriend, i'm sorry for yesterday. i don't intend to make you feel angry. i really had the niat to tell you but i didn't want to burden you even more because you have problems to settle and i don't want to add in more problems. its not fair to you cause i'm only your gf and not part of your family. i really don't want to stress you thats why i didn't want to tell you. i felt that i could take care of this problem on my own. so yeah. even if i were to die or whatever, i know you'll have a better life. ok, i don't know why i just said that but yeah. i'm really sorry. i admit its my fault. ):



" give me the strength to carry on. "

went out with nisa and her kakak sedare. went to esso at macpherson area to meet her kakak sedare's boyfriend. then lepak there for awhile. then me and nisa went to serangoon. had a long talk with her. couple of laughters. we shared alot of things. hehe. i love my sedare, (:

&i'm off to study. you, if you're reading this. call me once you can ok. i love you.


" don't tell me i will make it on my own. "

yesterdays motivational talk was fun. i really enjoyed it, (: thanks yo. haha. but too bad that " happiness " lasted for awhile. after that, i thought i wanted to go home with boyfriend. but then.... oh wells. * sarcastic laugh * haha. so i made my way out from school. passing by the gang. umi catched up with me. but by then i had like bruises already? huhu. cool shit uh. umi forced me to tell her what did boyfriend say, but i just kept quiet and walked. walked and cried. hahahaha. cool combination really. then i started to slow down, let the gang pass by me. then umi and me was behind the gang. three people was behind us. one of them whom i was supposedly supposed to go home with eventhough i didn't feel like it but i really wanted to cause he was the one i love. i throwed tantrum at the wall or the fence. really cool thing to do. * to SOME people, i didn't mean it. really. * then i burst out to umi while walking to simei mrt station. i feel so h-e-l-p-l-e-s-s.

i told her everything. everything that i felt for that past three days. thank god she understands. sigh. three people has already gave me the answer to my problem. but i don't want to use that solution. i want that to be the really last resort. yeah. reached simei mrt station, i hide behind the board. cause i know he won't see me. hahaha. i'm good at hiding. so i saw him and two friends just gracefully walking pass by us, (: i saw batt. yeah. checking the hair infront of the photo id booth. lol. funny person. went up to the platform cause i dread taking the bus. i know i'll bump into him. so yeah. then i saw batt again at the platform. asked questions and all. and i broke down infront of batt. yadayada, accompanied the gang to pasir ris. they bounced back. i dropped at tampines. called up batt. went to macs infront of kfc. joined ira and batt. thanks guys for trying to make me feel happy, (: went to tampines mall after that to jj. haha. then went back home.

to ira; i had fun with you too love! thanks once again ok for making me feel happy. you guys tried really hard and kinda succeeded. but you both know what i really want and who will make me feel really happy right? but thanks for trying really. and i promise, nomore walls, (: thanks mommeh and daddeh for making this daughter of yours laugh. haha. much love! and please ira, meet up more often! hehe.

to sally; thank you sally. i'll try to be happy once again ok, (:

" sebandingkan sejarah lama,
kau tahu ku benar setia. "
my heart is putting up a fight. it'll never give up till it gets what it wants. please syg, understand and comprehend and remember who you are to me. i love you.

the past few days have been stressing for me. CN test was alright. other then that, problems after problems. i really need to cry. i really need someone i can talk to and all. i thought a certain person could help me, but no, i thought wrong. i can't possibly always go to umi and aziza. its not fair for them cause they have problems of their own too. i just feel that sometimes, i could turn to you, but you weren't there. sigh. you're my everything, i bet you didn't know that. or maybe you do. but you don't want to remember it. anyways, i'm having some motivation course thing today. its been 3 days you, 3 days. i know i can't take it anymore. i know i'll breakdown real soon like how i did today before school and during practical lesson. i can't control my emotions anymore. fuck, i'm becoming like one idiert crying and crying every single day. hurting my mum and myself even more. if only he can hear my prayers and cries..... arghh. fuckfuckfuck.

punching walls, that sounds great. bruises and blood are my best friend :)




" aku masih mampu tersenyum walau hati terluka. "
i don't like to fake things anymore. i just hope this problems of mine will settle soon.
boyfriend, i really need you.

alright. i'm back to update. sorry for the long absence. heh! busy la katekan ;D ok then. alot of things has been going on in school. yeah. i can't seem to remember what happened from where i left off till now. but all i can remember is that, i passed my behavioural science test. 45/5o. EHEM! haha. surprisingly, boyfriend got the same marks too. congrats to him. tak sia-sia kite blaja samesame. haha. anyways, on the 4th, it was our anniversary :) thank you so much sayang for the day. hee. i love you manymany. mwah! now lets look forward to next month, eventhough its bulan puase, we'll think of something. hee. anyways, other then that. i can't seem to remember. so yeah.

today, we had national day celebration. it was kinda alright. went to eat then went home. i wanted to meet boyfriend badly, but then, nevermind. anyways, going to granddad's house now. heh. sorry if all my post are so short nowadays. cause i can't seem to remember what has happened and all. so yeah. plans ahead;
- tomorrow, if the kenduri is confirmed, then kenduri first then don't know go where.
- sunday and monday holiday. prolly meeting boyfriend.
- tuesday is school and so is wednesday and thursday and friday.
- thursday i have clinical nursing test.
- friday i got motivational talk.
so yeah. pretty much gonna be booked, again. heh. sorry ok.

and oh, people who are concerned about other things beside what i do in my daily life, i'm fine. i'm getting better. i think. haha. don't worry about me so much. OH! speaking of that, i finally remembered something. haha. my class, theres this one place ah, is kinda spooky. yeah. three people already kena and i don't want more to kena. i'm tired in fighting this things. i really am. and i'm getting really sick because of this. but i have to make them go away if not more of my friends kena and i don't want that to happen cause like, classmates seh. then further more i'll feel guilty if i never help also. so i was begging my teacher to help me out cause frankly speaking i can't do it alone. and i wanted to ask boyfriend and his friend for help also but i know that my teacher won't allow. so theres no point ah. in the end, my teacher managed to kill one with the combination of my powers. which gradually i did black out for awhile but then ok again. yeah.

alright. thats all i can remember. haha! till next time.