time: 2302pm.
well today. didn't do much. boyfriend didn't come back home yesterday. expected already lah. haha. so woke up, charged my handphone. 3 days in a row i didn't charge. cool or whattt? haha. crap. err, then my dad woke up then he kalam kabot thought i work today, padehal tak. then he frantic, search for my mother. padehal she's at work. aiyoo. this guy. haha! almost called the police seh. tskk :D
mother came home soon after. then i showered. then something funny happened. haha. i told boyfriend about it already. cause its also regarding him. lol. went to town first. to spinelli's. our usual coffee hangout place. talktalk. then to woodlands next. went to causeway point. jalan-jalan. bought stuffs. then off to toa payoh. bought more stuffs. then off back home. haha.
currently, i am chatting with boyfriend and durriah. haha. i must say this, i find it very odd. i feel very comfortable chatting with durriah. yeah. eventhough we like just got to know each other recently, i can talk to her almost anything. and she understands me too. how cool is that? haha. i've never clicked with anyone that i don't know with so fast. i love durriah (:
tomorrow is afternoon shift. ahhhhhhhh. haha! i dread. but nevermind. ok, going to end this now. alysha insyirah is waiting for a picture of me with my new hair, tomorrow i promise. haha. anything else?
goodbye/}
top of the table or whatttt. man u can so pray hard now.
haha (:
LIVERPOOL. YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE (:
soundtrack.
Monday, October 27, 2008
aren't you glad?
Sunday, October 26, 2008
time: 1405pm
well hello there (:
haha. yesyes. i know. so thats why i'm here. lets get it started shall we?
monday, 20th october 2008.
called up boyfriend in the morning to teman him till mrt station. then we got into a misunderstanding and all. so yeah. texted him. didn't sleep after that. afternoon shift for me. got ready at 10 then yadayada. headed off to work. the busy-ness is starting. really. i was so tired. uh huh. couldn't really recall what happen. but i know, when i reached home, omg. haha!
tuesday, 21st october 2008.
went to work with boyfriend. hais. wasn't a pleasant journey. uh huh. theres always something new popping up. hais. it didn't seem to stop. eventhough how hard i tried, it just wouldn't stop. i couldn't take it anymore. i really broke down. i was in so much sadness, i said something to him. something which i regretted as soon as i sent that sms. i know i couldn't turn back time. i hurt him alot. that simple sms hurt him alot. hais.
i wasn't in the mood to work, but i had to put my personal problems aside. i got screwed by my CA for not giving my fullest concentration during work. arghh. i hated myself that very day. i didn't hate myself that much before. hais. i apologised to my CA and tried to focus. but everytime i try, those words i say kept coming back. this is why, i hate regrets.
he met me after work. i couldn't bring myself to face him. really i couldn't. i brought him so much pain. but i wanted to make things better. i tried. but it just doesn't seem to work. he sent me back home. we tried to talk. but it just only makes things worst. hais. in the end, it dragged till the next day.
wednesday, 22nd october 2008.
things doesn't seem to get any better. train journey was as quiet as ever. arghh. new problems came in again. hais. i felt really helpless that time. really i was. and furthermore, i was in serious pain. my chest pain is really biting into me. and when i wanted to talk, its just hurt so bad. arghh.
i tried to put my full concentration on work. tried really hard to put my problems aside. and i did. for awhile till it came back. tskk. i got screwed again by my CA. this time, he wasn't that friendly at all. i told him i'm really trying my best and right now i don't need any screws, but for him to just leave me alone and i'll be fine. and he did, he did left me alone. thank god for that.
he picked me up. i tried once again to make things better. maybe it did a little. but a little wasn't good enough. and again, it dragged till tomorrow.
thursday, 23rd october 2008.
i was supposed to meet him at 6 at the mrt station but i woke up late and reached there at 0615 instead. he already left. i couldn't contact him cause he's handphone wasn't with him ( how bad can that be right? ) so i went to work alone. remembering his words. yeah.
morning shift was dreadful. it was as busy as ever. at 1, we had a meeting. talked about this and that. then, suddenly, nisa was in alot of pain. so i and my CA sent her to A&E. uh huh. we waited and waited. then i went up at 4 to sign out from my ward. then waited for bf to come and then back to A&E. told my CA i had to go off and told nisa to text me as soon as she receives any news or anything. went back home. tried to settled things again. but it just got worst. then i blew up. i punched the wall. he got pissed. i was very angry at that time. i didn't blame him. i only have myself to blame, really.
and we tried, we tried to work things out. and it did. it got better. thank god. i really hoped and prayed that this day would come and it did. we got better (:
friday, 24th october 2008.
met him at the mrt station. supposedly at 6. but i reached there 0610. and he reached a few minutes later. we were better. much better. we laughed and talked. like any happy couple. my heart was really happy.
work never gotten much better. i was more focused and my CA was glad. glad that i was happy again. and so are my friends. gyeah. visited nisa after work for awhile. then off to meet bf. then off back home. we lepaked for awhile. we had fun (:
mum got home. she ask him to go in but he doesn't want to. haha. soon, he went back home. and we weren't in a stable mood at first, but we got ok back again. haha.
i love my boyfriend, he's the best in the whole wide world (:
that night, he went to johor. hais. he knew i was gonna be sad, he told me something. it cheered me up a little. but not so much. haha.
saturday, 25th october 2008.
didn't do much. did stuffs to my hair with my mum. haha. thats about it. slept in early after watching man u and evertons match. they deserve to draw. hah!
today, 26th october 2008.
I miss my babyboy so much ):
I find this amazingly funny.
didn't do much either. woke up, did the chores. watch tv. did my case study. watch movies. uh huh. thats about it. oh, currently, i'm addicted to who's line is it anyway? ohmylord that show is damn funny. haha!
who's line is it anyway, friends, these shows totally made my day (:
" the sky is no longer the limit, your imaginations are. "
ponder on it.
till next time.
goodbye/}
dear you,
counting down the minutes till you're back.
arghhh. ):
i just hope its today and not tomorrow.
I MISS YOU, YOU KNOW!
well hello there (:
haha. yesyes. i know. so thats why i'm here. lets get it started shall we?
monday, 20th october 2008.
called up boyfriend in the morning to teman him till mrt station. then we got into a misunderstanding and all. so yeah. texted him. didn't sleep after that. afternoon shift for me. got ready at 10 then yadayada. headed off to work. the busy-ness is starting. really. i was so tired. uh huh. couldn't really recall what happen. but i know, when i reached home, omg. haha!
tuesday, 21st october 2008.
went to work with boyfriend. hais. wasn't a pleasant journey. uh huh. theres always something new popping up. hais. it didn't seem to stop. eventhough how hard i tried, it just wouldn't stop. i couldn't take it anymore. i really broke down. i was in so much sadness, i said something to him. something which i regretted as soon as i sent that sms. i know i couldn't turn back time. i hurt him alot. that simple sms hurt him alot. hais.
i wasn't in the mood to work, but i had to put my personal problems aside. i got screwed by my CA for not giving my fullest concentration during work. arghh. i hated myself that very day. i didn't hate myself that much before. hais. i apologised to my CA and tried to focus. but everytime i try, those words i say kept coming back. this is why, i hate regrets.
he met me after work. i couldn't bring myself to face him. really i couldn't. i brought him so much pain. but i wanted to make things better. i tried. but it just doesn't seem to work. he sent me back home. we tried to talk. but it just only makes things worst. hais. in the end, it dragged till the next day.
wednesday, 22nd october 2008.
things doesn't seem to get any better. train journey was as quiet as ever. arghh. new problems came in again. hais. i felt really helpless that time. really i was. and furthermore, i was in serious pain. my chest pain is really biting into me. and when i wanted to talk, its just hurt so bad. arghh.
i tried to put my full concentration on work. tried really hard to put my problems aside. and i did. for awhile till it came back. tskk. i got screwed again by my CA. this time, he wasn't that friendly at all. i told him i'm really trying my best and right now i don't need any screws, but for him to just leave me alone and i'll be fine. and he did, he did left me alone. thank god for that.
he picked me up. i tried once again to make things better. maybe it did a little. but a little wasn't good enough. and again, it dragged till tomorrow.
thursday, 23rd october 2008.
i was supposed to meet him at 6 at the mrt station but i woke up late and reached there at 0615 instead. he already left. i couldn't contact him cause he's handphone wasn't with him ( how bad can that be right? ) so i went to work alone. remembering his words. yeah.
morning shift was dreadful. it was as busy as ever. at 1, we had a meeting. talked about this and that. then, suddenly, nisa was in alot of pain. so i and my CA sent her to A&E. uh huh. we waited and waited. then i went up at 4 to sign out from my ward. then waited for bf to come and then back to A&E. told my CA i had to go off and told nisa to text me as soon as she receives any news or anything. went back home. tried to settled things again. but it just got worst. then i blew up. i punched the wall. he got pissed. i was very angry at that time. i didn't blame him. i only have myself to blame, really.
and we tried, we tried to work things out. and it did. it got better. thank god. i really hoped and prayed that this day would come and it did. we got better (:
friday, 24th october 2008.
met him at the mrt station. supposedly at 6. but i reached there 0610. and he reached a few minutes later. we were better. much better. we laughed and talked. like any happy couple. my heart was really happy.
work never gotten much better. i was more focused and my CA was glad. glad that i was happy again. and so are my friends. gyeah. visited nisa after work for awhile. then off to meet bf. then off back home. we lepaked for awhile. we had fun (:
mum got home. she ask him to go in but he doesn't want to. haha. soon, he went back home. and we weren't in a stable mood at first, but we got ok back again. haha.
i love my boyfriend, he's the best in the whole wide world (:
that night, he went to johor. hais. he knew i was gonna be sad, he told me something. it cheered me up a little. but not so much. haha.
saturday, 25th october 2008.
didn't do much. did stuffs to my hair with my mum. haha. thats about it. slept in early after watching man u and evertons match. they deserve to draw. hah!
today, 26th october 2008.
didn't do much either. woke up, did the chores. watch tv. did my case study. watch movies. uh huh. thats about it. oh, currently, i'm addicted to who's line is it anyway? ohmylord that show is damn funny. haha!
who's line is it anyway, friends, these shows totally made my day (:
" the sky is no longer the limit, your imaginations are. "
ponder on it.
till next time.
goodbye/}
dear you,
counting down the minutes till you're back.
arghhh. ):
i just hope its today and not tomorrow.
I MISS YOU, YOU KNOW!
baby i'm back.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
time: 2037pm.
alrightttt. here are the updates that happened from monday till today, as promised (:
(its gonna be a long and bumpy post. haha. keh, bumpy tu cam paham. but yeah. its gonna be a long post so bear with me ok people?)
monday, 13th october 2008.
first day of attachment. uh huh. went to meet boyfriend at tampines interchange at 6am as promised. but you know la who always reach first kan. haha! we weren't in good terms at first. so most of the time we were very quite. took the 72 down to hougang interchange cause boyfriends first week was at rehab. so i took the train down to outram park. and headed to cheers to meet the rest. soon, one by one came and the last student to arrive was azmi. haha. then mr deleon came and took our attendance then we proceed to ward 57, general surgery ward. argh.
had debrief then ward tour and stuff. had break. then we officially started work. lunched. then yada-yada. 4pm we went off. i met boyfriend at hougang interchange. took 72 down to my place. then i slow talk with him. then we lepak for awhile. then off he go back home. thats pretty much it.
tuesday, 14th october 2008.
afternoon shift. uh huh. for the first time in my life i never felt so bored in the ward. ohmygosh. there was practically nothing to do! haha. my legs were tired from standing and eventually i was tired of standing instead of tired doing work. yes, we did a few things here and there but ohmygosh most of the time we were standing ah. haha! gees.
ended at 9. boyfriend teman-ed on the phone till my mum arrived. send my grandfather back home then home for us.
wednesday, 15th october 2008.
i called boyfriend in the morning. teman him when he made his way to hougang interchange. haha. talk-talk-talk. kesian dier. he felt very tired and sleepy. tu lah, i suroh tydo siang tak nak, concentrate juga ngan game tu. haha.
teman him by texted. then i ironed my uniform. cooked. then showered and get ready for work. trained down. the day went by like any other afternoon shift. haha. it was seriously damn boring i tell you. but it was abit more fun lah. got IMH patient. haha. ended at 9. home with munirah. on the phone with boyfriend.
thursday, 16th october 2008.
first morning shift of the week. it was very busy. like finally! haha. i had alot of things to do rather then just stand there to wait for miracle to happen. i was very tired that i slept during my break and i didn't eat at all. haha. seriously i was busy till like about 1430 like that. half and hour of rest and off back home. went to hougang mall to get for my brother food. then after that waited for boyfriend to come. then bus-ed down to my place. we slacked after giving my brother his food. at first we talk-talk outside my house. then we went somewhere else. my stomach was in great pain. gugut they call it in malay or in english, the cramps. haha!
mum called after maghrib telling me that my uncle is coming over for raya visiting. and she ask me where am i. i said i was under the block. yada-yada. eventually mum reached home first then me. haha! i asked boyfriend to send me to my house. kat depan gate. lol. then i told my mum that he was outside then my mum ask him to come in and meet my uncle. then, they talk-talk. then me and boyfriend makan and soon after he left. haha.
teman-ed him by phone. and my uncle left at about 10 plus. uh huh. thats all.
friday, 17th october 2008.
i was in really great pain. i couldn't even walk. so i called up my teacher to let him know that i wasn't able to come to work. and i have to replace it tomorrow. so yeah. fine with me. i rested from morning till about 2 plus. showered, went to the doctors. then after that fetched boyfriend at the rehab center. cab-ed down to tampines. cause i needed to reach there by 5. lepak with him since theres time. hais. i felt very sad after he left.
went to my aunts place at pasir ris. waited for family members to arrive. texted with boyfriend. i was like crying and crying already ah. if only he knows. hais.
home at 10 plus or 11.
today, 18th october 2008.
work in the morning with kavitha. haha. busy giler nari. cause i had to jaga 3 rooms. woah. busy-busy until 1430pm. tskk. then made my way to nisa's house. raya. then home.
my stomach still in pain. and ally said she wanted to see me at hospital. TAK DATANG PUN!
ok da. till next time.
goodbye/}
dear you,
i miss you hell lots.
please come home soon ):
alrightttt. here are the updates that happened from monday till today, as promised (:
(its gonna be a long and bumpy post. haha. keh, bumpy tu cam paham. but yeah. its gonna be a long post so bear with me ok people?)
monday, 13th october 2008.
first day of attachment. uh huh. went to meet boyfriend at tampines interchange at 6am as promised. but you know la who always reach first kan. haha! we weren't in good terms at first. so most of the time we were very quite. took the 72 down to hougang interchange cause boyfriends first week was at rehab. so i took the train down to outram park. and headed to cheers to meet the rest. soon, one by one came and the last student to arrive was azmi. haha. then mr deleon came and took our attendance then we proceed to ward 57, general surgery ward. argh.
had debrief then ward tour and stuff. had break. then we officially started work. lunched. then yada-yada. 4pm we went off. i met boyfriend at hougang interchange. took 72 down to my place. then i slow talk with him. then we lepak for awhile. then off he go back home. thats pretty much it.
tuesday, 14th october 2008.
afternoon shift. uh huh. for the first time in my life i never felt so bored in the ward. ohmygosh. there was practically nothing to do! haha. my legs were tired from standing and eventually i was tired of standing instead of tired doing work. yes, we did a few things here and there but ohmygosh most of the time we were standing ah. haha! gees.
ended at 9. boyfriend teman-ed on the phone till my mum arrived. send my grandfather back home then home for us.
wednesday, 15th october 2008.
i called boyfriend in the morning. teman him when he made his way to hougang interchange. haha. talk-talk-talk. kesian dier. he felt very tired and sleepy. tu lah, i suroh tydo siang tak nak, concentrate juga ngan game tu. haha.
teman him by texted. then i ironed my uniform. cooked. then showered and get ready for work. trained down. the day went by like any other afternoon shift. haha. it was seriously damn boring i tell you. but it was abit more fun lah. got IMH patient. haha. ended at 9. home with munirah. on the phone with boyfriend.
thursday, 16th october 2008.
first morning shift of the week. it was very busy. like finally! haha. i had alot of things to do rather then just stand there to wait for miracle to happen. i was very tired that i slept during my break and i didn't eat at all. haha. seriously i was busy till like about 1430 like that. half and hour of rest and off back home. went to hougang mall to get for my brother food. then after that waited for boyfriend to come. then bus-ed down to my place. we slacked after giving my brother his food. at first we talk-talk outside my house. then we went somewhere else. my stomach was in great pain. gugut they call it in malay or in english, the cramps. haha!
mum called after maghrib telling me that my uncle is coming over for raya visiting. and she ask me where am i. i said i was under the block. yada-yada. eventually mum reached home first then me. haha! i asked boyfriend to send me to my house. kat depan gate. lol. then i told my mum that he was outside then my mum ask him to come in and meet my uncle. then, they talk-talk. then me and boyfriend makan and soon after he left. haha.
teman-ed him by phone. and my uncle left at about 10 plus. uh huh. thats all.
friday, 17th october 2008.
i was in really great pain. i couldn't even walk. so i called up my teacher to let him know that i wasn't able to come to work. and i have to replace it tomorrow. so yeah. fine with me. i rested from morning till about 2 plus. showered, went to the doctors. then after that fetched boyfriend at the rehab center. cab-ed down to tampines. cause i needed to reach there by 5. lepak with him since theres time. hais. i felt very sad after he left.
went to my aunts place at pasir ris. waited for family members to arrive. texted with boyfriend. i was like crying and crying already ah. if only he knows. hais.
home at 10 plus or 11.
today, 18th october 2008.
work in the morning with kavitha. haha. busy giler nari. cause i had to jaga 3 rooms. woah. busy-busy until 1430pm. tskk. then made my way to nisa's house. raya. then home.
my stomach still in pain. and ally said she wanted to see me at hospital. TAK DATANG PUN!
ok da. till next time.
goodbye/}
dear you,
i miss you hell lots.
please come home soon ):
soon.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
time: 2338.
korang-korang, i'll update SOON ok?
stay tune! i promise :D busy working now laaaaaaaaaah. haha.
goodbye/}
korang-korang, i'll update SOON ok?
stay tune! i promise :D busy working now laaaaaaaaaah. haha.
goodbye/}
awww.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
time: 2308pm.
ok, here i am updating while watching suria raya live on tv, exchanging comments with a few people. haha. this is what i did today in random order;
1) woke up for subuh; prayed.
2) slept back and woke up at 7 plus when bf called.
3) bathed, went to pasar to buy daging.
4) home, clean house.
5) sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
6) woke up, brother and friends wanted to come for raya.
7) watched tv while waited for them.
8) in the end tak jadi. haha.
9) went to the doctor thereafter.
10) text with bf.
11) low BP, low HR, low PP, low RR, low SPO2.
12) went to sheng shiong to get fruits.
13) reach home took cab. padehal 10 mins walk je. takle angkat babe.
14) rested. prepare.
15) kak sedare, husband, anak sedares came at maghrib.
16) talk-talk, laugh-laugh.
17) erin, bf and friend came.
18) entertained them.
19) all of them left.
20) watched pendekar bujang lapok.
21) texted with my brother and bf.
22) off the tv when pendekar bujang lapok habis.
23) here i am now :p
haha. i know i can put it all in one paragraph. but i wanted to make the post look long. lol. tomorrow, maybe out to jalan raya. hais. penat la.
next week da keje. wah sotttttt. haha.
goodbye/}
ok, here i am updating while watching suria raya live on tv, exchanging comments with a few people. haha. this is what i did today in random order;
1) woke up for subuh; prayed.
2) slept back and woke up at 7 plus when bf called.
3) bathed, went to pasar to buy daging.
4) home, clean house.
5) sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
6) woke up, brother and friends wanted to come for raya.
7) watched tv while waited for them.
8) in the end tak jadi. haha.
9) went to the doctor thereafter.
10) text with bf.
11) low BP, low HR, low PP, low RR, low SPO2.
12) went to sheng shiong to get fruits.
13) reach home took cab. padehal 10 mins walk je. takle angkat babe.
14) rested. prepare.
15) kak sedare, husband, anak sedares came at maghrib.
16) talk-talk, laugh-laugh.
17) erin, bf and friend came.
18) entertained them.
19) all of them left.
20) watched pendekar bujang lapok.
21) texted with my brother and bf.
22) off the tv when pendekar bujang lapok habis.
23) here i am now :p
haha. i know i can put it all in one paragraph. but i wanted to make the post look long. lol. tomorrow, maybe out to jalan raya. hais. penat la.
next week da keje. wah sotttttt. haha.
goodbye/}
neck pain.
Friday, October 10, 2008
time: 1630pm
ok, there you have it, the raya pictures.
actually, theres more. but i damn lazy to upload uh. so i upload whichever i pick. random ones. chey. keh takla. haha! merepek :D
anyways, yesterday night. a bunch of my classmates came. ry, sulyana, shiirah, afiqah, aidil, ali and farah. uh huh. they ate, talked, laughed. home soon after. my mom asked them how i was in school. haha. luckily they give good comments. hehe.
today, home all day. my neck is in pain. i got biten by red ants. arghh.
goodbye/}
ok, there you have it, the raya pictures.
actually, theres more. but i damn lazy to upload uh. so i upload whichever i pick. random ones. chey. keh takla. haha! merepek :D
anyways, yesterday night. a bunch of my classmates came. ry, sulyana, shiirah, afiqah, aidil, ali and farah. uh huh. they ate, talked, laughed. home soon after. my mom asked them how i was in school. haha. luckily they give good comments. hehe.
today, home all day. my neck is in pain. i got biten by red ants. arghh.
goodbye/}
jalan raya.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
time: 1349pm.
oh god. three days i never update. amazing or what? haha! okok. lets start.
tuesday, 7th october 2008.
woke up in the morning and waited for dad to leave for KL on business trip, as always. made for him breakfast. haha. first time tau. lol. then bf came and we slacked. had a few misunderstandings. but we sorted it out. around late afternoon, i changed to hari raya clothing while he waited. then we proceeded to hougang point to makan at kfc. uh huh. then i cabbed down to joo seng while he took the bus back home. went to my aunts place for raya visiting and to see the new born baby. uh huh. i was the first to reach. so i can like play around with the baby uh. cool or what? haha!
then the rest started to come. then ya, eat-eat. talk-talk. i had no mood cause we still weren't in the ok mood yet. left at around 10 plus. uncle sent me and my mom and brother back home. then done. onlined for awhile then called bf. both of us mood still off. then i did the laundry. hahaha. to release anger and sadness, and it work, abit. called him up back then talk then around 3 plus i think i slept. cause i cannot tahan already. heart pain macam thousands of needles poking it. tskk!
wednesday, 8th october 2008.
while waiting for confirmation from bf if he wants to go raya outing with friends, i cleaned the whole house. prepared food yadayada. then he said he wanted to go and our colour is green, as directed by nabil. hah. so i went back to tamp home for awhile. clear stuffs then went to cik yah's house at the opp block cause mum ask to pass kuih and food to her. i did. then bf got out from house and i met him. walked to tamp mrt station to meet the rest.
couples were all in one colour. haha. me and bf, green. hafiz and nina, blue. lokman and gf, black. cool right? haha! then the singles wore different colour la. yeah. first house was to cikgu's house at eunos. took pictures. makan. laugh here laugh there. then off we went cause some people don't want to see some people. haha. then covered east side. then proceed to woodlands to fyans place. another couple, purple. haha. covered up north then proceed to west, yew tee. it was already 11 plus when we reached yew tee. uh huh.
then we broke off from there. bf, hafiz, nina, fyan, syella, nabil and hakim came to my place. last house. by the time we reach was already 1230 ke 1245am. haha. they eat. they slacked. around 0130 they left my place. yeah. sent them off. sent bf off. then off back home. cleaned up the place. i was already so tired and so in pain. i slept. bf called me twice. i wanted to call him back but i was just too tired and too in pain. sorry bi. and i'll update pics as soon i get it from hafiz.
today, 9th october 2008.
something ungrateful happened in the morning. hais. then i rested cause i still wasn't well then here i am now updating. yeah.
till then.
goodbye/}
you,
i must be honest with you, i still can't get her off my mind.
i still am not satisfied with why she wants to do that.
i still feel angry.
i still feel sad.
i still feel why now?
i still feel hais.
i don't blame you. i know you'll never fall back for her.
you told me yourself. i just don't trust her.
&i'm still finding a way to release my anger. i cannot hold it back for long.
before i do something crazy.
oh god. three days i never update. amazing or what? haha! okok. lets start.
tuesday, 7th october 2008.
woke up in the morning and waited for dad to leave for KL on business trip, as always. made for him breakfast. haha. first time tau. lol. then bf came and we slacked. had a few misunderstandings. but we sorted it out. around late afternoon, i changed to hari raya clothing while he waited. then we proceeded to hougang point to makan at kfc. uh huh. then i cabbed down to joo seng while he took the bus back home. went to my aunts place for raya visiting and to see the new born baby. uh huh. i was the first to reach. so i can like play around with the baby uh. cool or what? haha!
then the rest started to come. then ya, eat-eat. talk-talk. i had no mood cause we still weren't in the ok mood yet. left at around 10 plus. uncle sent me and my mom and brother back home. then done. onlined for awhile then called bf. both of us mood still off. then i did the laundry. hahaha. to release anger and sadness, and it work, abit. called him up back then talk then around 3 plus i think i slept. cause i cannot tahan already. heart pain macam thousands of needles poking it. tskk!
wednesday, 8th october 2008.
while waiting for confirmation from bf if he wants to go raya outing with friends, i cleaned the whole house. prepared food yadayada. then he said he wanted to go and our colour is green, as directed by nabil. hah. so i went back to tamp home for awhile. clear stuffs then went to cik yah's house at the opp block cause mum ask to pass kuih and food to her. i did. then bf got out from house and i met him. walked to tamp mrt station to meet the rest.
couples were all in one colour. haha. me and bf, green. hafiz and nina, blue. lokman and gf, black. cool right? haha! then the singles wore different colour la. yeah. first house was to cikgu's house at eunos. took pictures. makan. laugh here laugh there. then off we went cause some people don't want to see some people. haha. then covered east side. then proceed to woodlands to fyans place. another couple, purple. haha. covered up north then proceed to west, yew tee. it was already 11 plus when we reached yew tee. uh huh.
then we broke off from there. bf, hafiz, nina, fyan, syella, nabil and hakim came to my place. last house. by the time we reach was already 1230 ke 1245am. haha. they eat. they slacked. around 0130 they left my place. yeah. sent them off. sent bf off. then off back home. cleaned up the place. i was already so tired and so in pain. i slept. bf called me twice. i wanted to call him back but i was just too tired and too in pain. sorry bi. and i'll update pics as soon i get it from hafiz.
today, 9th october 2008.
something ungrateful happened in the morning. hais. then i rested cause i still wasn't well then here i am now updating. yeah.
till then.
goodbye/}
you,
i must be honest with you, i still can't get her off my mind.
i still am not satisfied with why she wants to do that.
i still feel angry.
i still feel sad.
i still feel why now?
i still feel hais.
i don't blame you. i know you'll never fall back for her.
you told me yourself. i just don't trust her.
&i'm still finding a way to release my anger. i cannot hold it back for long.
before i do something crazy.
no title.
Monday, October 6, 2008
time: 0129am.
i don't know what to post. haha. anyways, the past two days of going out jalan raya seems ok la. not that bad. haha. eventhough i'm really tired nowadays, god knows why, i still manage to layan people and people who needs special attention. haha. yadayadayada. i'm helping my brother prepare for his O's. so i won't be onlining that much. uh huh.
till tuesday, thats where the fun begins. right baby? *winks*
my dad was talking about grades. then he said something about me when i was in kindergaten. i had alot of A's then suddenly one B.
dad: why got one B?
me: teacher tell me A all finish already.
HAHA! HILARIOUS OR WHAT SIA!
yesterday-yesterday, happy 5th to us, (:
i don't know what to post. haha. anyways, the past two days of going out jalan raya seems ok la. not that bad. haha. eventhough i'm really tired nowadays, god knows why, i still manage to layan people and people who needs special attention. haha. yadayadayada. i'm helping my brother prepare for his O's. so i won't be onlining that much. uh huh.
till tuesday, thats where the fun begins. right baby? *winks*
my dad was talking about grades. then he said something about me when i was in kindergaten. i had alot of A's then suddenly one B.
dad: why got one B?
me: teacher tell me A all finish already.
HAHA! HILARIOUS OR WHAT SIA!
yesterday-yesterday, happy 5th to us, (:
friend.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Time: 1736pm
ok, this post is dedicated to someone. so here goes;
to this boy: aku tak expect kau untuk maafkan aku pasal aku buang kawan setakat nak bahagiekan matair aku. aku kadang-kadang buat kerja bodoh supaya orang yang aku sayang gembira. tapi, aku rasa dia tak akan gembira pasal kau giving him the cold treatment and he's unhappy about it. aku tau kau dari dulu banyak tolong aku. aku berterima kasih. aku ingat semua pesanan kau yang kau bagi kat aku. memang salah matair aku juga kerana dier tak bilang kau straight forward yang dier cam tak happy kau contact aku atau aku contact kau. from ape aku boleh nampak, aku tau dier pentingkan member punye persaan daripade aku. dier letak member dulu dari aku. aku tak boleh salahkan dier pasal dier kenal kau lebih lame and aku ni setakat matair dier, anytime boleh break. aku paham. tu pasal aku mintak kau, kalau kau tak nak maafkan aku, its my lost. kau maafkan matair aku. pasal aku tak nak nanti biler kitorang break, members dier sume takde dengan dier untuk cheer him up and so on. aku tau aku menyesal buat macam gitu, since kau tak nak anggap aku sebagai kawan lagi, aku takle pakse kau. aku cuma boleh harap dan doa yang kau ngan matair aku akan berkawan balik macam dulu. aku tau ape kau capable of kalau kau marah atau dissapointed dengan member sendiri, tapi kau fikir balek uh, sanggop ke kau nak hilang member cam gitu pasal pompuan?
aku bukan ape ah, aku cuma sempena hari raya ini, aku nak kau maafkan matair aku pasal dier punye fikiran. kau sendiri tau yang dier kuat jealous and aku punye fault juga pasal aku cam close ngan kau and this is what happens in the end. macam ape kau cakap, most of the time aku ngan kau bobual pun pasal dier tapi dier tak tau. aku dah bilang dier pun aku tak tau dier terima ke tak. so once again, kalau kau tak nak anggap aku sebagai kawan, itu rugi aku. tapi, aku harap kau maafkan matair aku pasal member tetap member, matair anytime boleh break.
and bukan niat hati aku nak buang kau sebagai kawan. aku at that time was in a difficult position. harap maklom eh. thanks.
ok, this post is dedicated to someone. so here goes;
to this boy: aku tak expect kau untuk maafkan aku pasal aku buang kawan setakat nak bahagiekan matair aku. aku kadang-kadang buat kerja bodoh supaya orang yang aku sayang gembira. tapi, aku rasa dia tak akan gembira pasal kau giving him the cold treatment and he's unhappy about it. aku tau kau dari dulu banyak tolong aku. aku berterima kasih. aku ingat semua pesanan kau yang kau bagi kat aku. memang salah matair aku juga kerana dier tak bilang kau straight forward yang dier cam tak happy kau contact aku atau aku contact kau. from ape aku boleh nampak, aku tau dier pentingkan member punye persaan daripade aku. dier letak member dulu dari aku. aku tak boleh salahkan dier pasal dier kenal kau lebih lame and aku ni setakat matair dier, anytime boleh break. aku paham. tu pasal aku mintak kau, kalau kau tak nak maafkan aku, its my lost. kau maafkan matair aku. pasal aku tak nak nanti biler kitorang break, members dier sume takde dengan dier untuk cheer him up and so on. aku tau aku menyesal buat macam gitu, since kau tak nak anggap aku sebagai kawan lagi, aku takle pakse kau. aku cuma boleh harap dan doa yang kau ngan matair aku akan berkawan balik macam dulu. aku tau ape kau capable of kalau kau marah atau dissapointed dengan member sendiri, tapi kau fikir balek uh, sanggop ke kau nak hilang member cam gitu pasal pompuan?
aku bukan ape ah, aku cuma sempena hari raya ini, aku nak kau maafkan matair aku pasal dier punye fikiran. kau sendiri tau yang dier kuat jealous and aku punye fault juga pasal aku cam close ngan kau and this is what happens in the end. macam ape kau cakap, most of the time aku ngan kau bobual pun pasal dier tapi dier tak tau. aku dah bilang dier pun aku tak tau dier terima ke tak. so once again, kalau kau tak nak anggap aku sebagai kawan, itu rugi aku. tapi, aku harap kau maafkan matair aku pasal member tetap member, matair anytime boleh break.
and bukan niat hati aku nak buang kau sebagai kawan. aku at that time was in a difficult position. harap maklom eh. thanks.
hais.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Time: 1240PM.
Ok, something happened during malam raya. Only boyfriend knows. Cause he has the right to know. Haha. Sigh. Why is my health getting worst nowadays? Sedih you know. Cannot enjoy like other kids. Cannot do this cannot do that. Cannot take this cannot take that. Haiyeer. Cobaan :D
So, this is me during pagi raya. Haha. Yes, sweet kan? Tau :D Lol. I really looked much pale in life. I added some colours to make my face look like that. If not seriously, i look like either i'm dead or a ghost. Haha. Heyy, at least i put some effort to look my best during hari raya eventhough i'm in no mood for it right? Give credits to me people! (:
First day, always to grandparents house. Sadly, it always screwed when it comes to my dad side. Like, my grandmother will go missing on hari raya. Hais. So, yeah, we visited my aunty who is the 2nd eldest in the family. Talk here talk there. Eat-eat-eat. Then off we went to my 2nd nenek house at circuit road area. By that time, i was having a terrible headache and my fever came back. Haha. I asked nenek for drugs. She give me. Cool right? Lol. Chill uh gang. Panadol la. Haha. So, after taking panadol, i ate. Haha. She cooks the best ayam masak merah. Gyeah. I like. I eat eventhough its pedas and it made me tear and perspire alot. Haha!
After that, off to my grandfathers house at my mothers side. This year we came earlier then the rest. Cool uh. Tak pernah kite datang first. Haha. So waited for everyone to come and thats where the kekecohan starts. But too bad i was fast asleep cause i couldn't take it. But i woke up every few minutes just to make sure i reply boyfriends text back. Cause we were having a tiff. Whats new? Hais. But this time round, i can NEVER forget all the hurtful words that you say to me. Be it you were angry or heartbroken, i can NEVER forget it.
Home at 12am plus. Called up boyfriend. Wanted to settle things. But, hais. Put down the phone. Texted him. I fell asleep after taking my meds. I couldn't tahan my chest pain and headache and fever and i vomited out blood again. Hais. Ape nak jadi ngan kau diyana?
Today, i went to check my results. Alhamdulilah, i did well. Haha. I never expect it. But thats great. Gyeah. I hope all my other friends did as well as i am or maybe even better, (:
Looks to me that scoring 3.5 and above its not that hard after all if you put your heart and mind to it. Uh huh.
Attention people, i want to say this, haha. I'm so honoured to be invited by sakinah to go out with durriah, faridah and herself to town on wednesday. Haha. Tak sangke gitu eh. Lol. Anyways, get back to you soon, (:
Goodbye/}
To you;
I'm very dissapointed. By what you did and what you said.
Hais. But like what i always told myself, i'll love you still no matter what.
Cause i can never love any other guy like you. You're the ONLY ONE that i WANT,
&You're the ONLY GUY that i NEED.
I did what i had to do in order to make you happy. In order to not make you feel jealous.
Don't say i didn't had to do it cause i already did. Yeah.
I love you muhammad taslim ali khan. ONLY YOU.
Read that, comprehend that, remember that.
I'm still, very dissapointed in you.
I HATE argueing with you, but, i still love you.
Ok, something happened during malam raya. Only boyfriend knows. Cause he has the right to know. Haha. Sigh. Why is my health getting worst nowadays? Sedih you know. Cannot enjoy like other kids. Cannot do this cannot do that. Cannot take this cannot take that. Haiyeer. Cobaan :D
So, this is me during pagi raya. Haha. Yes, sweet kan? Tau :D Lol. I really looked much pale in life. I added some colours to make my face look like that. If not seriously, i look like either i'm dead or a ghost. Haha. Heyy, at least i put some effort to look my best during hari raya eventhough i'm in no mood for it right? Give credits to me people! (:
First day, always to grandparents house. Sadly, it always screwed when it comes to my dad side. Like, my grandmother will go missing on hari raya. Hais. So, yeah, we visited my aunty who is the 2nd eldest in the family. Talk here talk there. Eat-eat-eat. Then off we went to my 2nd nenek house at circuit road area. By that time, i was having a terrible headache and my fever came back. Haha. I asked nenek for drugs. She give me. Cool right? Lol. Chill uh gang. Panadol la. Haha. So, after taking panadol, i ate. Haha. She cooks the best ayam masak merah. Gyeah. I like. I eat eventhough its pedas and it made me tear and perspire alot. Haha!
After that, off to my grandfathers house at my mothers side. This year we came earlier then the rest. Cool uh. Tak pernah kite datang first. Haha. So waited for everyone to come and thats where the kekecohan starts. But too bad i was fast asleep cause i couldn't take it. But i woke up every few minutes just to make sure i reply boyfriends text back. Cause we were having a tiff. Whats new? Hais. But this time round, i can NEVER forget all the hurtful words that you say to me. Be it you were angry or heartbroken, i can NEVER forget it.
Home at 12am plus. Called up boyfriend. Wanted to settle things. But, hais. Put down the phone. Texted him. I fell asleep after taking my meds. I couldn't tahan my chest pain and headache and fever and i vomited out blood again. Hais. Ape nak jadi ngan kau diyana?
Today, i went to check my results. Alhamdulilah, i did well. Haha. I never expect it. But thats great. Gyeah. I hope all my other friends did as well as i am or maybe even better, (:
Looks to me that scoring 3.5 and above its not that hard after all if you put your heart and mind to it. Uh huh.
Attention people, i want to say this, haha. I'm so honoured to be invited by sakinah to go out with durriah, faridah and herself to town on wednesday. Haha. Tak sangke gitu eh. Lol. Anyways, get back to you soon, (:
Goodbye/}
To you;
I'm very dissapointed. By what you did and what you said.
Hais. But like what i always told myself, i'll love you still no matter what.
Cause i can never love any other guy like you. You're the ONLY ONE that i WANT,
&You're the ONLY GUY that i NEED.
I did what i had to do in order to make you happy. In order to not make you feel jealous.
Don't say i didn't had to do it cause i already did. Yeah.
I love you muhammad taslim ali khan. ONLY YOU.
Read that, comprehend that, remember that.
I'm still, very dissapointed in you.
I HATE argueing with you, but, i still love you.
