Well, ain't going out today. Really don't have th mood t go anywhere anyways. I'm still really tired and i just don't want t go out. Yesterday's phone call was horrible. I don't know what got into me, i don't know what got into you. Seriously, i don't.
I told you many times to mind your words. Sometimes it may be a joke t you but i'll take it damn well serious. Now you know, please. Don't do it again.
&For what i did. I apologise. I know i didn't listen t you. But ayee, i was hurt yknow. I didn't know i was that kind of person in your eyes. You brought down my dignity. What was that for? Was it all a joke? Omg. Hais. " You call the shots. I know. "
You don't wanna loose. Ok, we'll have it your way. I'm really tired of arguing with you over and over again. I'm really tired of getting sick from all the crying. What will it takes t prove t you that i do listen t you? Gosh. Yes, most of the times i do. But when i'm hurt, i sometimes don't listen. Cause why? You're supposed t act like someone that i need but in th end you turned out t be someone that i don't need. Th words you say, your actions, your split personality, my gosh. You can turn into someone else so fast. I just don't get you sometimes. You're ok one moment and th next, boom! You turn into this evil monster. Hais. I just want you t be th guy that i fell in love with. Not th guy i am dealing with now. Hais. Is it t much t ask from someone i call my own?
yes, i know. i've been gone for too long. haha. way too long. the reason why is because my internet's down, my phone's down, everything all now on the down side. so yeah. i'm sorry if there ain't frequent updates yeah. so, cut the crap. lets get down to business.
tuesday, 25th.
happy 16th birthday nur syirain hamzah, (:
semoga panjang umor, murah rezeki.
jadilah anak yang solehah, insyaallah.
hope that you'll do well for your O's yeah.
will be praying for you hunny.
i miss you.
meet up soon.
kirim salam to ibu for me and the rest will ya?
loves!
morning shift again. i didn't go with boyf tak salah. yeah. can't remember ah. anywhats, the day went fine. nothing much to say. the normal stuff and all. haha. err, met boyf after work. trained with him and munirah as per normal. then, lepak. home.
see, like any normal day kan? haha.
exceptttttt..... we were arguing. as per normal.
ok da.
wednesday, 26th.
work macam ngoj3rhnog;iueqhniqo4rgbqui45khjnijngrtwjt4kwrngkewnrg4ntgio4q5'gtjr
lmpormgi4o'tnhgk'jngfkelmwrp\ognw4toingbw4itoj'kmfdlvwihotboirjedfk/
( durriah knows what it means. haha. ally too. if other people know, good for you! )
sister let us off at 2. haha. cool or whattt? takya repay balek tau. good seh.
went to pick up boyf. home with him and helmi.
i loved this day very much.
eventhough after that, a little bit of arguement. but i loved how it went for that few hours of spending time together.
i really loved it.
thursday, 27th.
afternoon shift. met boyf. bounced back from pasir ris. trained with him. he made me laugh so much that day. haha. and he did something sweet. awww. it's my pleasure to have that ring back on my finger. and the way he did it was super adorable i tell you. haha.
anywhats, stopped at mr bean to get soya bean with pearl. haha. i love the pearl. v nice i tell you.
haha. ok da. err, worked. as per normal.
ended abit on the late side. then home with the babes. trained with shakilla, munirah and boyf. chillek for awhile then home.
friday, 28th.
afternoon shift again. i was alone! omg. i had to do junior work for the very first time. like really junior work junior work. with the help of other people of course. haha. dressing ni sume mane aku boleh buat kan. haha. so yeah.
it was fun ah. running here and there all. macam dapat excersie gitu. haha.
then uh, there was this problem with one of the patients husband and all. police came and yadayada. me kena questioning and everything. damn scary i tell you. haha. but all in all, it was an ok day for me la. i had this terrible headache and tummy pain and chest pain and i vomited blood into the toilet bowl. wah liao. haha.
when i reached outside the house. i was in anger, in pain and was v sad cause of something happened between me and boyf. again. hais.
i still love him ok.
saturday, 29th.
morning shift. me with kak zalis. trained alone. haha. boyf called but halfway through putus pasal no connection. grrr. then after that walked my way through. very fast i tell you i walk. like lightning gitu. chey fake la. haha. reached just in time. not late not nothing. phew! shakilla was like, naseb kau datang. haha. then i asked her, what if i didn't? then she laughed. lol.
so, worked. and worked and worked. it was really busy this past few days. the female ward especially. grrr. haha. but all in all, fun day la.
homed with shakilla. bathed. slept. woke up from boyf text. then talked to him on the phone for awhile. then wirid. till just now 10 ke 11 plus. then ate, then here i am now.
sleeping soon.
goodnight/}
dear durriah,
i'm fine love, don't worry about me. i really missed you. i hope that the both of you are fine now. text me soon ok. if you fail to receive a message from me, leave a miss call.
i hearts durriah alot, (:
I'M RIGHT BESIDE YOU.
for all my life i am yours.
Well, today ain't a pretty day for me. Full of cryings really.
Err, morning went with boyf. Well, ok la. As i expected.
Walked to SGH alone. With no company and i was palpating real fast when i reached the tea room.
Tskkk.
Luckily, nisa was still in so we went into the ward together and luckily we weren't late.
I had zhang ye with me. Ok la.
Overall today's work, not that bad. Not that good. Just nice.
Deepa & me were like gossiping most of the time. Haha.
Nonsense that woman. My favourite of all (:
Left at 1515. Went to delifrance to get my cookie. Hehe.
Then off to the mrt station with munirah and kavita. Reached dhoby, boyf boarded the train.
Then trained down to serangoon then the rest is history.
" I cried thinking about what i almost did today. I didn't know what to do. How to respond. I wanted to text my bestfriends. But all i know are busy with their own stuff. I wish, i didn't even think about doing that to you. But i almost did. And you almost gave it away. "
If you guys can understand, kudos to you.
I'm off.
Goodbye/}
SAY IT AGAIN FOR ME.
I'm your only one.
TAGGED BY ALYSHA INSYIRAH :DDDRULE#1 :People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
RULE#2 :Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.
1. Do you have any secrets?
- Oh no babyyy. I don't (:
2. Would you fall in love with a boy/girl younger then you?
- Yknow what? I did once. Hahahaha.
3. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?
- As long as it takes. Thank god he's mine already. Nyehahaha.
4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
- Donate, mother, donate, mother, donate, mother, bank, mother, spent (:
5. Will you fall in love with your bestfriend?
- I did. &Thank god i'm in love with him.
6. Which is more blessed, being love by someone or loving someone?
- Of course, being loved by someone.
7. List out 5 favourite things you like and 3 things about yourself.
- Laugh, text/phonecalls/lepaks with boyf, text/phonecalls/msn chats with gfs, shopping, eat :D
- I get paranoid easily, i throw tantrums most of the times, i can be crazy and i mean really crazy.
8. Looks like theres no question 8. Lol.
9. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
- Yes, there is.
10. What makes you sad?
- Boyf knows what makes me sad (:
11. How would you see yourself 10 years from now?
- Err, working. Happy family. 2 kids. Tender loving care.
12. Who currently is the most important person to you?
- My mother. She's always the first.
13. What is bothering you in your life now?
- " Bruised and battered by your words. Tattered shattered now it hurts. " Go figure.
14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
- Married but poor.
15. What are the things you wanna do?
- I wanted to meet boyf today, but then.. nevermind. I'll meet him tomorrow je la.
16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, both are the same, who will you choose?
- I pray to god to show me who's the right one, after that, i'll leave it to him to capture my heart. BUT, for now, it won't happen cause i'm already in love with my boyf (:
17. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible that someone did to you?
- Forgive yes, forget no.
18. How do you say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go?
- Don't say goodbye la.
19. If there is a choice between lover and friends, who will you pick?
- Both. I can't pick one.
20. Will you fall in love soon?
- Already in love now (:
- Ira atiqah.
- Siti nurdurriah.
- Nur sakinah.
- Syirain hamzah.
- Emmalyna (:
Alrightt, home since morning till now. I didn't go out. Too lazy and still too weak to go out. Message iqah mum in the morning, oh how much i miss her. I miss my babes from JN0801E so much. Arghh! Meet up soon please?
( Boleh kan bi? Hehe. )
Then, in the afternoon boyf texted me.
I love him so much. Thats all i got to say (:
My aunty from terengganu came. Then yadayadayada.
90210-ed since 3pm till now. Haha.
Now watching jimmy kimmel live on star world. OMG I'M SO BORED.
I'm still so sick and tomorrow morning shift ):
Takpe. Besok pegi ngan matair. Sanggup bangun ok!
ALYSHA, I TEXT YOU TOMORROW OKKKKKKKK?
Iloveyouspecialandconfusedperson.
Dear youuuuuuuu,
" You're my number one, you captured my tiny heart.
Now, we're cool, and i don't want us to ever break apart.
Cause you're the first man that capture me from the start. "
We may bend but we'll never break. We may tremble but we'll never fall.
I love you babyboy.
With all my heart (:
Dear siti nurdurriah,
I apologise for my attitude yesterday.
&I thank you so much for being there for me.
For being my listening ear. For giving me the best solutions.
I sayang durriah alot.
Goodbye/}
HAVEN'T I ALWAYS LOVED YOU.
You're almost here.
I MADE YOU CRY FOR 3 DAYS.
how bad can i be? omg. diyy. how could you?
I LOVE YOU. I DO.
you're the best damn thing that happened in my life.
I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE.
i really am.
I'M SUCH A USELESS GF.
you deserve someone better.
its 0737am now and i'm awake and updating. hahahaha. i didn't sleep the whole night. i was up all night
wirid. with my dad. yeahh.
thats the reason why i didn't reply to your text, its not that i was asleep. anywhatts, i'm really weak. tskk. i need my strength, but till now, my strength is nowhere with me. cause of a misunderstanding.
" show me what its like to be the last one standing.
teach me wrong from right and i'll show you what i can be.
say it for me say it to me.
and i'll leave this life behind me.
say it if its worth saving me. "anywhats, next week. i'll be super busy. trainings are starting back. i don't know if i should go or not. maybe not. see hows my health. gyeah.
- monday; AM shift. my lord. haha.
- tuesday; AM shift. prolly dinner with parents too. gosh, like finally!
- wednesday; AM shift.
- thursday; PM shift.
- friday; PM shift.
- saturday; AM shift.
and trainings are on monday, wednesday, friday and saturday. cuhrazee or whattt? haha. see la my coach. nothing better to do kan. trainings four times a week. and i'm not sure if i'm even playing for next years comp! wahlauweii. haha. i'm not even sure i'll make first 7! nyeahahahha. seriously i tell you, i haven't been going training since my last competition. i suka-suka ikot hati if i wanna go then i go. if you were my coach, will you let me be in first 7 again? hehe :D
anywhatts, i have this feeling. i still will be. cause why? i'm the shortest among the team yet my stamina still doesn't suck yet thou i have asthma. kwangkwangkwang. serves you right diyy. drop your stamina la. so don't have to play anymore. teach me people!
pssst; mother! same position as you. nyehahaha. center peoples.&so. the yesterdays post. don't bother about it. haha. i'm fine now. after much
wirid-ing, i'm fine. well, maybe not fully fine fine. but just fine. cause certain people know what can really make me fully fine fine. hahahahaha. i'm talking crap. just, bear with it. ok?
and to someone so dearest to me,you're not evil. you're just upset. i still love you the way you are. nothing less.
i apologise for everything. for making you angry, upset, losing your trust on me.
certain things, i cannot control. for eg my stepbrother.
mother doesn't want me to tell you, i can't do anything about it.
and i hate it if i have to keep it away from you.
but mother has seek forgiveness from you and me too.
i just hope you will forgive us.
i've always loved you. its not that i didn't.
but i need you, to prove it to me.
lesser love, lesser trust, lesser care.this is what the both of us are feeling. lets work it out.
i know we can do it.
i have faith in us.
i love you. i do.ok. so i guess, this is the end? ahhahahahaha. i'll edit this post later if anything else happens. till then, this is what it is.
goodbye/}
BOY, YOU TOOK AWAY MY HEART.its crazy and insane.i'm having a terrible day today. my lord. arghhh. ok, let me start. tuesday, wednesday, thursday was like any other normal day. really it was. nothing special on that day. nothing worth mentioning except that my patient died. coroners case. did last office and all. so yeah. today, my god did i feel like i was choking to death!
- my throat was super damn in pain. it felt like it was burning.
- my fever got up to more then 41 degress. my mom was like putting ice on my body and head. especially the head. she didn't want me to get brain damaged.
- i was suffocating. gasping for air.
- i couldn't lift my head off from my pillow.
- i was really weak till my mom and brother had to pull me out from bed and help me up so that i can go and see the doctors.
my god it was so awful i tell you. tskk. the past few days, i've been thinking about dying. i've been having thoughts about dying. people have been telling me about dying. and my god, it suddenly strucked into my head, what if i am dying? are this the signs and symptoms? tskkk. what world are you leaving in diyana? of course you're not gonna die, yet. you still have a life to fulfill. and so god help me, i don't want to leave taslim alone.
then kan, haha. as i was texting ally and boyf while waiting for the doctor to see me. i was supposedly be 3rd in line. then right, there was this old lady who came because she got burnt. then the lady asked if i could let her go first, then i said alright. then after that kan, there was this chinese kid who keeps on vomiting, then the lady asked me again if i could let him go first, since he was a kid, sure fine. so i was number 5. then kan, i saw this malay kid who had high fever like me, coming in. he look super adorable i tell you. ohmygosh. i felt like letting him go first then me, but seriously, i cannot tahan already.
the doctors consultation was omg so long. tskk. the doctor wanted to refer me to a&e again, ahha. i said, enough of a&e's please. its making me sick. so my mom said to the doctor to just prescribe me with medications and if i'm not well for the next 4 days, she'll personally sent me to a&e and get me warded. wahlauweiiiii ):
i want to die? can?
I NEED ALLY, DURRIAH, KINAH.
but most important, the one person i need most now, is BOYFRIEND.
"Tk. I dnt tink so. Mataer i tk pukul2 i.tk akn melawan ckp i.die tk kn uat pe i tk suke.die mmg cntrl i bkn nk atas i.die syg i.u mataer org lain.bkn i."
wow, i didn't know. of all the hurtful words you can say, you said that. that " u mataer org lain.bkn i. " wow. congratulations you. you've won.
ITS CRAZY BUT I'M FALLING APART.
Ok. Short post. I'm really tired and really exhausted. Well, today. Work wasn't that bad. Had talk on safekeeping of patients property. Haha. I heard someone shouting my name. Without looking i already know who the person is. Lol. Cute ah dier. *HINTHINT*
:D
Anywhats, after the talk, headed back to work. SN kak su and EN muliana and EN ria was with me. Really nice people. Haha. I'm starting to get a hang of EN muliana's attitude. She can be bitchy, but hey, i learned alot of things from her sia. Haha. And, we have nicknames. But i don't call her by her nickname la. I call her kak only. I good ok. She call me " rose " cause my cheeks always red like rose. Haha. Thanks ah. Hot ok there. Then me and meipoh cheeks are always red. Tskk. And oh, ya, if you guys read the name MEI POH. Haha. Tskk. Whatever. But, she ok la today. Do work and all. Better then before, (:
Usual stuff. Ended at o915. After helping the NYP student with the SMU's. Then headed to NEL station with munirah. Bumped into shakilla. Then dropped at dhoby ghaut to me boyf. Then headed back home. Slacked for awhile. Oh, its been awhile . ♥
Tomorrow, afternoon shift again. Hais. So tired. Tskk. Boyf morning. Haha. Tak same shift. Takpela. Sekali-sekale kan. Haha. And oh, i kena maki-ed by patient just now. So sad you know. I innocent-innocent gitu come want to ask patient something then " You kanina nabei cheebye........" all come out. Wahh. Heartbroken or what sia. Haha.
Goodbye/}
TONIGHT WILL BE THE NIGHT.
That i will fall for you, over again.
Alysha Insyirah Bte Abdul Malik, my special gf/wonderwoman.
Thank you for you longest dedication post ever to me. Haha. I'm so honoured and so touched. I'm writing one back for you. See, i said i'll do means i'll do kan? Haha.
Alysha, i call her Oi, Ally, Alysha or Alysha insyirah. Whichever that suits my mood at that point of time. Haha. I got to know this girl when we were in kem perkase. Haha. She said i was feirce like anything and she didn't dare to talk to me ( my god. so kental. kidding ) Haha. So anyways, yes, we first started to get along when she wished me happy birthday. I was touched. Really i was. Then we got to know each other deeper and deeper till we became who we are now. Idiotic bestfriends who won't give a shit about each other, literally. Haha.
She has this voice of a seventeen year old when my lord she's only fourteen. And she say i have a voice of a seven year old. I think her phone cocked up or something or maybe she was having hearing disabilities at that point of time till she said my voice macam seven year old. Haha. Strange woman isn't she? (:
She thinks she's very cool. Much more cooler then me. Omg la. Grow up please! You're much more kental then me can. Thinking the whole universe spins arounds you and all. Haha. And she ah, always say wanna come and see me. In the end still haven't. That time i very good already wanna come her house, she don't allow me. Toot right this woman? Then now say i don't wanna see her and all and i never keep to my word and all. Tskk. Moronic idiot sia. Haha. And this dumb here, thinks i'm so beautiful like what like that padehal she's way more gorgeous then me with her big fat pinchable cheeks and long flowing thick hair like ugly betty. My god ah. She blind or what say i beautiful? Padehal she's more beautiful then me ah. Tskkk.
Woman, just admit can? I can find 10 people in 10 secs who can say you're way more beautiful then me ah. Chey! Confirm kembang eh? Haha!
What she say is true, we spend one hour or more arguing over the same thing over and over again but we never got tired of it cause she'll be all random and i'll be all random and we create new things to fight about. Haha. V cool yknow. Haha. So much to talk when i text with this woman. Yeah. Like never ending gitu. Haha. She, such and ahole you see. Everytime she wanna win and win and win. Don't allow other people to win you know. Only she can win like that. Haha. She kan QUEEN. QUEEN OF ALL THE KENTALANS :D
Eventhough she has royalty, she treats me like a princess. Haha. She make sures that i eat and all. She's a v caring friend, really she is. If you never eat, she'll come up with one thousand and one things to say till you'll eat i tell you. Thats why i love her. She's always there to take care of me when sometimes i thought another person would. She'll never get tired of all my nonsense. Haha. Eventhough she knows i'll suck her blood or pluck her veins or whatever la, she still can tolerate all my shit and urine. Haha! See how much she loves me and i love her? From a stranger to a friend, now a friend to a bestfriend. Damn, good times. Hehe.
Sometimes, when she's a pain in the bottoms, she's actually doing a good deed for me cause she's making me happy. She knows alot of ways to make me happy eventhough she says she doesn't. Shetupid fool right this girl? Haha! She knows she'll be there for me 24/7, insyaallah and she knows i'll be there for her 24/7 too, insyaallah. Provided if i still live la. Heh!
So all in all, alysha insyirah = disgusting, moronic, idiotic, shetupid fool, bloody fool, ahole, biatch, annoying much, irritating like nobodys business, talkative like hell, a loser, a freak, a toot, my bestf, (: THE GIRL WHOM I'LL LOVE TILL DEATH DO US PART.
Cause she's the one.♥
Siti Nurdurriah, my awesomest bestf.She really brighten up my day with her tight unexpected hug just now. Infront of a patient just now. OMG! Haha. So sweet kan she? Hais *Melts* Hehe. (EH! AKU STRAIGHT EH KORANG.)
Anywhats, she's the best can? She's been there for me when alysha is somewhere in her dreamland. Thinking of milan or paris or whereever she wants SD to bring her. Hahaha. She helped me alot. Especially yesterday and this morning punyer morning. She helped me to pull through. She thought me a most valuable lesson.
" Never give up the ones you love cause you'll really regret it in time to come. " Without her, i think kan, nomore US.
I appreciate all her hardwork, her enthusiasm to keep my relationship alive. She's my awesomest bestf. Noone can ever take her away from me ( ok fake la, family, her other girls, mister love can. lain sume takle eh! ) I don't know how i will be like without her by myside. Maybe this ugly duckling yang the most burok version of all. Yang ade calar sini calar sane. Wound sini wound sane. Mane tau ade gangrene juga. Hahahah :D
She can be my mother, she can be my sister. Most of all, she's my bestf. The one who will always scold me when i want to do something stupid ( she and alysha can become partners in crime for this. confirm i'll live a living hell. ) She tells the best advises. She always feels me and i feel her ( alysha don't jealous la. i feel you too. haha. but i like still love to bully you ah. ) I really treasure her alot.
I never found someone who can feel me like she does. I never found someone whom i can click with very fast. I never found someone who can understand me like crazy like betol-betol nye understand. I think god made me befriend her for a reason. Cause i think god made me want to live again instead of letting me down and feel almost everything and think almost anything and stop beating myself up, literally.
All in all, durriah = lovable, hugable, friendlist, sweetest, prettiest, funniest, cutest, adorable-est, caring-est bestf i could have.
I LOVE HER SO MUCH CAN.She's gods give sent from above,♥
Muhammad Taslim Ali Khan, my everything.Eventhough things aren't as good as it seems now. I know you know, we both know we love each other so much and we don't want this relationship to end. Not now.
When i first know you dear, i was like " confirm ramai pompuan suke nye. haha. standard la kan. " I couldn't fall for you. Not till a month later when suddenly, snap! I fell for you. What caused it? Till now, i don't have a definate answer but maybe, something you did or something you said, made me fell for you. As days goes by, i got to know you deeper and deeper. Survivng all obstacles you throw at me. I really wanted to be strong at times, but the obstacles you threw at me can be quite, hard. And that cause me to loose hope and i wanted to loose you right away.
But, your friend ( who is no longer have any connection with me due to a reason ) gave me the strength and courage and determination to not give up and fight for whats right. And yes, it helped me pulled through and before i know it, 4th may was the day.
I couldn't believe after that day i was yours. I felt, i was dreaming. I was like, confirm this is just a joke, confirm we'll break up soon one. You throw me more and more challenges. I faced them with an open mind and open heart. Without knowing, a month came. Then two, three, four, five and now sixth. As days, weeks, months go by, the challenges are getting tougher and tougher but we managed to pull through together. Yes, sometimes, we both exchange hurtful words to each other. Do things to hurt each other. Alot of quarrels alot of everything. But we still manage to stay as one. Because we apologised. We know who is in the wrong and all. We compremized. And we work things out.
Happy times with you are priceless. I enjoy every single moment of it. Really. I've never been happy in my life whenever i'm with you. Seeing you smile. Hearing you laugh. Feeling the warmth of your hug. The tenderness is your kiss. Your everything, ohhh the feeling. I can never replace it. I swear its true.
" Nobody can beat me in this world. Only you. "I'm sorry all this while i have been a jerk, a pain in your ass. A useless gf who always makes alot of mistakes. I know i'm human. I know i tend to make mistakes again and again. Hais. I just wish. One day, i will turn into, miss perfect. So i can jaga you without you getting hurt. You would be happy, i would be happy, we would be happy. Isn't that wonderful? Hais. But all is just a dream. Allah didn't make me perfect. Thou how much i tried to work and try to be one, he just doesn't allow me or i need more hardwork or maybe it'll come but later. I don't know. I just keep on trying and hoping and praying that i can be that perfect girl you're looking for. I just hope its soon.
You've been there for me, you're always there to ensure that i'm safe back home. Sometimes took the initiative to send me back all the way home, be it tampines or serangoon north. Oh, how much i love you. Only god knows.
I can never think of losing you, cause i don't want to. I can never think of stopping myself to love you, cause i always do. I can never think of stopping myself to think that you're a nobody, cause you're my everything.
I really hope, things will turn out better soon. I really hope, i can be that perfect girl that you've waiting for. I just hope, this will last.
IF I COULD LOVE SOMEONE ELSE, I WOULDN'T. CAUSE NOBODY WILL LOVE ME LIKE YOU DO. AND NOBODY ELSE COULD. CAUSE YOU'RE THE ONLY GUY WHO HAS THE KEY TO MY HEART AND SOUL. You're an angel, gods sent from above. To take care of me. To love me always.
I really love you, muhammad taslim. From the bottom of my heart. I'm truly sorry for all the wrongdoings i have done to you, really. You never know how much i've regretted it. Hais.
I love you, bi.♥
"I thank you so much for being there for me yesterday and asking me to hold on and feel what i feel. And its my pleasure to be there for you always cause that is what bestfriends do (: Sometimes, i feel that you should deserve the happiness that you should get and i don't. So that is why i'm asking you to not give up whenever you're having an arguement or a small misunderstanding with him cause it may lead to a bigger arguement and therefore, an end to a friendship. I don't want to see you sad nor crying cause it hurts as much if you do. For me, being how i was yesterday was a natural thing for me. I experience it alot of times. Its like a normal routine for me. And like what i said " My heart can only take certain amount of pain. If it dies, so will the person who killed it. " I know you know what i mean. And i'm still not giving up, for the sake of me loving him so much and because you gave me hope to not do so.I treasure all the times we sms or chat together. Thou i've met you once or twice, and never really got the chance to talk face to face, its like i've known you for a long time. And like i've said before, i've never clicked with anyone so fast especially a girl. Gyeah. You are special to me, (:I hope, our friendship will continue to blossom as days goes by. And i hope you will stay as happy as you are right now. Because you being happy, will make me feel happy too ok? And remember, i have decisions. You don't. I love my bestfriend loads." ♥ ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alrightt. I just got back home from the airport. Send off my late teachers son to haji. Then familia went to eat at BK. Then walked around then off to angmokio hub to get my brothers corsage for his prom. Then did a little grocery shopping and here i am now.
Yesterday night, i didn't have anything to say. I was speechless, i was dissapointed, i was hurt. But i'm glad to know that you're ok. That is all i ever wanted. For you to be happy. And for me to suffer alone.
Thanks to durriah for being there for me. Thou yesterday was supposed to be about you. You did realise i was in a turn off mood and you did know the reason why without me having to tell it. Pandai seh dier (: Haha.
*Edited.
There are a couple more things i wanna let out which i forgot to let it out just now, so i'm letting it out now. Haha. Whatever sia diyy. Pfft.First and foremost; Alysha Insyirah Bte Abdul Malik, i miss you like tons.
Secondly; I need BT fast. I'm losing alot of blood since yesterday and menses is coming and dear lord i'll be losing even more blood and i don't know if i have enough blood to keep me alive.
Thirdly; I miss my fours. Umi, ry, ain and ira. Arghh.
Fifth; Liverpool won bolton. Haha.
Sixth; Man u won whatever team.
Seventh; I heard arsenal lost. My god. Whats wrong with them?!
Eighth; I think greys anatomy is better then house and ER.
Ninth; My brothers date for prom is super gorgeous. Haha. Good to know he's found someone new after the last one.
Tenth; I have no more random thoughts to put anymore.
Eleventh; DOG OWNERS! Please dispose your dogs poo in a good manner, and not in the lift. My god. Stinking up the environment only.
Twelveth; Last but not the least, Boyf, I still love you no matter what.
Thats all i supposed? Haha. And ohh, i find 3 year old kids very amusing. Nyeahahha. Whateverrrr.ONE MORE CHANCE IS ALL YOU GET.To make things right.
10th November 2008, Monday.
Well, start of a new day in a new ward. I tell you, the staff was giving us cold shoulder like shit. Haha. We, as a group, swore that we hate that ward. Lol. Anywhats, boyf picked me up and sent me back home and we spent time together. It was nice and cosy (:
11th November 2008, Tuesday.
Second day, afternoon shift. Well, it wasn't as bad as before. I worked with nicer seniors. SN rahmah and EN deepa. Nice people. I like working with them. Well, what the CI said, was true. That ward is a busy ward. Always have something to do. Then when we slack for awhile, confirm later got something to do. Which is good la. Better then slacking right? Haha. Then, in the night, i was bloody pissed off with this one patient. Arghh. This is what happen:
" I was aware that SHE couldn't take any dairy products. SHE asked for milo. So i did the milo that SHE wanted. When i gave her the milo, SHE said i used 3 in 1 nye milo. When i told HER that its not 3 in 1 milo, SHE keep on insisting that it is. Then when i told HER that its milo from the can, SHE doesn't believe me. Tskk! "I felt like making the milo infront of her face sia!
Arghhh! Bingit or whattt! Haha. Ok da. Then after that, i had to change diapers and all before i left for home. Boyf picked me up. Safwan picked durriah up. We walked together. Then me and boyf headed for NEL, safwan and durriah headed for east west line. Yeah. Chillek with boyf then home.
12th November 2008, Wednesday.
Morning shift. First morning shift. WITH MEI POH! My god. Haha. I swear i cannot work with her really. But it was alright uh. Yeah. Had another incident in the morning. Arghh. I feel like quiting ):
I hate guys/apeks/mats. Well, except family members and boyf la. So miang, so gatal, so ARGHH! Haha. Why can't they all just behave like normal human beings? Kan best. Sigh.
Met boyf. We had a tiff. Solved it out when we're back at my place. Thank god. I hate arguing with him. I really wanted us to be happy. Yeah. Anyways, home shortly after that. I'm really tired.
13th November 2008, Thursday.
Morning shift again. I had to go back to school in the afternoon to report and incident to madam phua. So yeah. Morning shift was alrightt. Nothing much happened except for two hooligans trying to be funny. Arghhh. This kind of people still exist in the world. Haha. Fags.
Off back to school with yi xian. Then yadayada. Home. Rest. Changed. Pick up boyf. Then took the bus back home to tamp. Then chill for awhile then off back home.
14th November 2008, Friday.
Morning shift. I was so tired. I didn't know why i was so tired also. Lol. Anywhats, the day went pretty well. Nothing happened. Thank god. Haha. Met boyf at dhouby ghaut. Then trained back home with him and munirah. Haha. Munirah so cute. Keh, whatever. Lol. Chillek. Dear god i love him to death. Please don't take him away from me.
9 plus he headed back home. And now, i'm missing him again.
Today, Saturday.
Nothing much to do. I decided to stay home. I don't want to go out. Haha. Mums home too. Yay! Alrightt. Nothing much to say now. Watching desprate housewives. Lol. Whatever gitu eh.
Dear you,You know i love you, you know i need you.
You know you mean everything to me.
The whole world, the whole universe, the whole galaxy, the whole everything.
I know you're trying very hard to change. I'm happy that you're trying.
I really am. And i wanna go through that change with you.
Even if it means sticking through whatever, i'm willing to do so.
Cause you're the only guy i have in my heart. You're the one who has the key to my heart and soul.
I love you,
i really do." Saying I love you Is not the words I want to hear from you It's not that I want you Not to say, but if you only knew How easy it would be to show me how you feel More than words is all you have to do to make it real Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me Cos I'd already know. "Goodbye/}
Ps;
Siti nurdurriah, i'm sorry i haven't been texting you and asking you how you've been. I've been busy with alot of things. And i have no time for my friends and family. Hais. I hope you're ok. I hope you're doing fine. I really missed you. And i'm still finding a day for us to go back home together. Haha. Anywhats, i'm still here if you need anything ok. Thou i might not be there to lend you my shoulder to cry on, at least i'm still here to lend you a listening ear. Thats the best i can do, for now. Being there emotionally instead of physically.
" I searched among the card displays, To see if I could find, A little something that would say Just what was on my mind. However there was not a one, That captured it just right, For no one else can understand Just what I'd like to write. I even find it difficult To try to write it down, For how do I portray to you, The love that I have known? I close my eyes and what I see, Is someone I adore; A person who is beautiful, Right down into their soul. Mere words cannot describe The many qualities you show, The love and caring nature that You share with those who know. Your kind and gentle temperament, Your sweet angelic smile, Your softly spoken sentiments, That reach across the miles. Your smile and laugh that sparkle with The softness of your sighs, The way your face lights up a room ... That twinkle in your eye. The loving gestures through the years, That quickly come to mind, For always you've a gentle word To calm and soothe I find. I struggle and I search to try To find some words anew ... And yet I cannot capture All the things that make you you. I shall therefore, be satisfied That you must simply know, Just how I feel about you, For with words I cannot show. "This is all i can say to you. Love(:
YOUR VOICE WAS TH SOUNDTRACK.Of my summer. You'll always be my thunder.
Alysha says this picture is nice. Is it? No right?
Anywhatts, just came back from parkway parade with family. Uh huh. Had some shopping spree then off to dinner at banquet. My god. Was there so many matreps and minahreps around. Tskk. Really spoil my eyes only. See them. Tskk.
As we were walking back to the carpark, got this one cute boy. Small boy. I think 3 years old gitu, sing siti nurhaliza song out loud. Haha. And surprisingly people give this boy $2. Ahahaha. But he sings quite nice. For a 3 year old. Really was surprising, oh wells (:
Tomorrow, start of a new day at a new ward. Ward 46. Endocrine and gastrosec-something. Lol. So long uh the name. Can't remember. All i know is, confirm is like last time 47. Alot of stoma bags and all. So yeah. Hoping there will be lesser molesters in this ward. And hoping that i don't jaga male rooms. I had enough really. I wanna jaga female rooms! Please! Arghh! Haha.
My shoes are still wet. Damn. So i need to wear my the other shoes. Confirm mr deleon will ask one. Haha. He's very particular about shoes. Why? I don't know. Want to know. Go ask him. Nyehahahaha. Mepek seh diyy. Tskkkkk.
Goodbye/}
YOU'RE THE MISSING PIECE.I gotta find you.
Ok, first and foremost.
ARSENAL SO KICKED MANCHESTER UNITEDS BUTT YESTERDAY! WOOHOO! HAHAHAHAHA :DSorry. I had to say that. Its the worlds most ( ok fake ) important news of all that you should know. Nyahahaha. Done.
Friday, 7th november 2008.Had to do morning shift cause needed to go back to school to key in the CCA points and whatever thing that one. Uh huh. Headed to work as per normal. Then did the things we had to do, as per normal. Oh, early in the morning, i received one shocking news uh. One of my patient, who ran away back home on thursday in the evening, commited suicide. I was like " Toooooooot! " Seriously damn shocking i tell you.
May he rest in peace and may god bless his soul.So, we put that horrible news aside and did our work and all. 1pm, had debrief. Yadayada. My plan was to meet durriah after work then meet boyf and durriah's love at city hall. But somehow, the plan kinda screwed. In the end i went alone and met him. Yeah. So i walked with nisa and munirah to the mrt station, they took bus 2 back to school while i took the train to city hall. Then waited. There was this MINDS students who were i think on a exclursion. Haha. This malay kid, keep looking at me. Then he did mr bean's action ( yang move his body forward backword forward backword tu ) then he did almost anything to catch my attention. My god was it the most scariest day of my life. Haha.
Boyf came and trained to simei. Walked to school. Then the first person i saw was umi ummairah and wani. Ohmylord. Haha. Then quickly did the thing. Hugged ikah, azizah, ry, salam-ed mirah then off i went. Trained to bedok. Took 854 back home. Chillek with boyf till mum and bro came home. Then watched tv for awhile. Then he wanted to go home, so yeahh. Haha. Day well spent at night with boyf (:
Saturday, 8th november 2008.Had to replace on this day. So, yeah. Morning shift. Worked with yazid today. Thank god ader dier. It was not that busy as expected. And nobody tried to molest me today. Hahahaha. Cool uh :D Kalau lah everyday was like this day. Kan best.
So yadayada. After work, showered then off back home. Slept. Then watched tv. Waited for mum and brother to come back from bugis. Mum bought for me three bajus. Yay! Haha. Then i gave her the belated birthday present. Good to see her happy (:
So, tv-ed. Watched man u against arsenal. Haha. Man u didn't even perform well. Mylord. I expected them to win. But it turned out the opposite. How wonderful. Hehe.
Movie-ed after that. Waited till 12. Boyf didn't call. So off hp and slept.
Today, 9th november 2008.Boyf called in the morning. Talked to him for awhile. Then tv-ed. Makan and here i am now. Uh huh. I don't feel like going out today. Tomorrow working and i'm still tired plus i'm having a massive headache and i don't feel good. Mygosh. I'm always sick. Whats wrong with me? Tskk.
Goodbye/}
YOU CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD.you're my sweetest sin.Wednesday, 5th november 2008.Well. Nothing much. Morning duty. Uh huh. After work straight back home. Slept. Very tired and very sick. Couldn't tahan at all. Then after that woke up at 7. Got ready and picked up boyf at work. Yadayada. Chillek at the stairs for awhile then home. Uh huh.
Today, 6th november 2008.Afternoon shift. Yeah. Nothing much. My patient whacked me. Then ran away. And i had to search the whole compound for him. Waste my bloody energy and thanks for whacking me at my rib cage. Its so kind of you. HAH!
I'm pissed. Seriously bloody pissed. Hahahahahahaha.
Goodbye/}
Ps;
Siti Nurdurriah, good to know that you're feeling much better now. I'm happy for you. Really i am. And i hope you will stay like this in the days, weeks and months to come. I'm always right here if you need me alrightt?
I love and miss you too sweetheart, (:
SCREW ALL THE HAPPY COUPLES. HAH!
&this bloody feeling sucks.
Ok, so yesterday night i went to pick up boyf. I saw some punks while waiting for him at the taxi stand. And i got a little uncomfortable so i decided to walk to the kopitiam. And i saw him there, walking. Then he ran, and so did nabil and all. He said like " Lari you! " I was like " Huh? " And he grabbed my hand and ran. I was like, ohhhhkay. Haha. Wierd i tell you. Then nabil was all " Eh lame! Tunggu! " Yadayadayada and all. Waited for yan and syella. Then walked to their usual smoking area. And they had this problem. Blahblahblah. Then this HMI guy came and talk-talk-talk. Then yan, syella, boyf and myself left.
Took the bus infront of velocity. Laugh here laugh there. Talk and all. Then halfway through we stopped and read our own book. Haha. He read something about afterlife whereby i read the book on ayat-ayat cinta. Uh huh. Then blahblah. Dropped at his bus stop. Walked to his block and he told me that there was a death case there. I was like, ohhhhkay. Haha. I was really, idon'tknowhowtodescribethefeeling. Cause i wasn't strong, so, i know theres gonna be alot of unseen things there, and i know, they're gonna follow me. And i don't like that. Tskk.
He brought down his cat and we walked to my block. Uh huh. His two small cats are adorable i tell you. I wish i can take them both but i only can take one first. My lord. Haha. It has very nice eyes. Grrr! Geram seh. Haha. And she made friends with my other cats fast. They get along pretty well (:
That concludes the end of yesterday.
Todayyyyyy.Morning shift again. With yi xian. Yay! Lol. As per normal. We did the morning routine. Took report, change bedsheet, give gargle, then serve diet. I had one sponging patient only. RTA case. Uh huh. The rest can go shower themselves. Like thank god. If not i'll suffer. Really. Then, this uncle, my god. He wanted to run away. Haha. He claims that his daughter is waiting for him downstairs to take his clothes home and all. And i had to accompany him. In case he ran away cause he tried to did that once. Then mr deleon was like afraid already. Haha. So he asked yi xian to come down and find me. In the end, we were sitting down and just wait. Till he finally say " Takpalah. Balek saja lah. " Lol :D
So, yeah. Waited for them to finish eating their food, clear diet. Then did dressing. Then parameters, then hypocount, then admission, then instruct patient for urine FEME and C/S. Uh huh. Lunch, then time flies for us. Haha. I had to do this clinical quiz setted by mr deleon cause he wanted to test our knowledge and all. Like, damn easy ah all the questions. Tskk. Haha. And i had to do peer evaluation and stuff like that. Yeah. Other then that, nothing much ah. And thank god, nobody disturbed me today. Yes! Free of disturbia. Haha.
Went to see my uncle at ward 58. I pity him. He breathless and all. Then my grandmother was there too. So, stayed for awhile then me and munirah sent my grandmother to the mrt station. Then NEL-ed back home. I was reallyreally sleepy already. Omg lah. Haha.
Alysha insyirah accompanied me by sms. So did boyf, for awhile. I know his busy and all. So yeah. Don't really complain much if he replies late. Haha. Reach home je,
HIBERNATE.Woke up. My body was damn stiff. I cannot move. Then my body was really hot. My head was spinning. And my heart was like going to pop out anytime soon. My god. This was the worst i had so far. Yeah. Bad you know. Ahyeer. Texted boyf. I got him worried and all. Hais. But i'm ok now, i guess.
Friends, stomp the yard, 90210, greys anatomy and here i am now.
Gotta go. Morning tomorrow.
Goobye/}
Dear you,I can't wait to meet you tomorrow eventhough we've not only met for a day. Haha!
I miss you so much already. Ahyeer.
Imagine if we didn't meet even longer. How like that?
Hehe. Saya sayang kamu banyak-banyak.
" Today is the day i remembered your question,
Today is the day i remembered giving you your answer,
Today is the day i will always treasure.
No man has ever beat me in this world like you did.
No man will ever will.
No man will ever give me whatever you gave me.
Because no man can ever be compared to you.
Today is the day i remembered i gave my heart to you,
And put it on both palms of your hand.
Today is the day i remember i gave my everything to you.
Today is the day i remember i gave you
ME. "
HAPPY 6TH MONTH BABY, (:Hello. Since i have the mood to update. I'll update before i take a quick nap. Haha. Ermm, today, i had a hard time waking up. Cause my head was super giddy. But i managed to make my way into the toilet. Kudos to me you know. Lol. After shower, my head felt super light. Yeahh. Great huh? Haha. So yadayada. Off to work.
Met yee rou in the train. Together with steph. Then met munirah at outram. Singgah cheers to get green tea. Then off to the ward. Chillek first. Then duty begins. Jengjengjeng. Hahahaha :D
I've never like taking care of male patients. Cause they can be so cheeky sometimes. But whatodo, its my job right? Luckily i had yi xian with me. If not. Die. Lol. Morning routine is as per normal. Today, we didn't have to sponge anybody! Yessar! Haha. All can go shower their ownselves. Lol. Then uhm, some don't want to bathe. For god knows what reason lah eh. Did dressing and such. Parameters. Serve diet. Off plug. Change drip and all. Handle sterile items. Yadayadayada. Just like any other morning routine uh.
Then, in the afternoon like that, i was surprised to see my grandmother.
Me:
" Nek! Buat ape kat sini? "Granny:
" Mamang kau masok ni. Dah operet katenye. "Me:
" Huh? Mamang mane? "Granny:
" Mamang orked kau lah. "Me:
" Oh. Atok orked rupenye. Nek datang sorang je? "Granny:
" Ah yelah. Sume keje. Kau pun mane ingat nenek lagi. Hahahaha. "Me:
" Eheh! Macam-macam eh nenek! Hahaha. "Then more of the conversations lah. So she waited and waited for my uncle to arrive from OT. But it was getting late and she had to go off. So she waited for me till i end my shift and together with munirah, we sent her to the MRT station then off we went back home. Uh huh.
Did i tell you mdm phua and mdm ler came? My lord everybody all panic to do their hair and all. Haha. I was like, shit! My hair colour. Then i think back again, ahhh. Don't care ah. Lol. Daring or whattttt, (:
Anyways, NEL-ed back home. And here i am now. Gonna sleep for awhile then wake up at 7 to get ready and all then take the bus to tan tock seng to pick up boyf. Uh huh. Alright then. Till next time.
Goodbye/}
THE SMILE ON YOUR FACE.Ok. So i'm back from the kenduri. My lord was it a long one. Haha. Me and my dad left home at about 4 plus then headed to pasir ris for the kenduri. Uh huh. We bace and bace. Then stop for awhile. Waited for maghrib. Then after that bace and bace again. Then stop. Waited for isyak. Then bace and bace again. So far, this is the longest i've bace-ed for doa selamat. Harap-harap, its all worth it (:
Boyf texted me soon after the kenduri almost ended. Yada-yada. Then headed back home after my dad finish eating. I really didn't have the mood to eat. I laid on the bed with one of my ustazah's anak sedare. All girls. My lord. Sungguh bising kat dalam bilik tu. Cause guys and girls were seperated. Yeah. So, very the bising uh. Gossip here and there all. Haha. Fun ah to be around them. They anggap me as family, i anggap them as family too. Gyeah.
Dad decided to singgah masjid istiqamah for awhile to pass something. Then off back home. Like finally. Quickly took my medications. Was like 2 hours behind schedule. Tskk! Then online for awhile. Chatted with boyf. Then read some people's blog. Then here i am now. Haha.
Ok, end here. Tomorrow i morning shift. I need plenty of rest yo. I'm still having fever. Tskk. mama says, " gi hospital admit diri kau sendiri la. jadi pesakit kat situ. haha " tskk! see la my mother. Walauwei, hahaha.
Goodbye/}
Ps; Miss siti nurdurriah, i'm glad you're ok now. Weeee. Yes, hopefully this friday we can pick our loved ones up together alright? Hehe. Diyy pun sayang kamu jugak deh :D
REPLAY DAT TIME WHEN YOU STOLE MY HEART.ok, i'm so gonna make this a quickie cause i have to go out. arghh. penat la. demam la. weak la. still kene go out. tak fun seh ):
liverpool lost their first match yesterday to tottenham. takpe. tottenham is getting more good nowadays. so, takpe la. give them chance. now they're down to second. its alright. its ok. haha. merepek nye aku. ok. so yeah.
anyways, ok. i really have to go now. i'll update more later when i get back or tomorrow or whenever i'm free ok? haha. serious la gang. gotta go already laaaah.
dear you,i kluar gi doa selamat tau. arwah ustad i punye anak nak gi haji. then my dad suruh ikut. so yeah. covered sumer. ok? text me soon.
i love you. kk. mumumumumumumwahhhh!
ps;
siti nurdurriah, i hope you're doing fine now. and da tak marah-marah lagi. be happy-happy selalu kalau nak diyy happy-happy too (:
insyaallah friday we can go together to work ok? hehe.
kehkeh. dahdah.
goodbye/}
HIGH FEVER STILL ON. BILER NAK GAME NI? D:
*EDITED.
hello there people. haha. ok. i'm not gonna rattle about how my week went. its the same like any other week. really. just that. one of the days, bf picked me up. and thursday and friday i picked him up. i watched high school musical 3 online. and it was tooting awesomeeee! you guys should really watch it. serious. its like zee coolest movie uh. thats all. ermm, nothing much to say. well, maybe there is.
i wanna highlight to all of you readers out there. may you be a girl or guy,
do not, i repeat, do not stand up on your loved ones. yes. please. don't.
even how mad you are or how angry you are,
do not leave your bf/gf alone. please. hurting her/him by your words is more then enough. do not
leave her/him for god sakes and make her/him go after you. please eh. we're human beings. we make mistakes. no matter how many times you point out, we're bound to make it again. we're not perfect.
&also, whatever we say when we're angry,
we so don't mean it uh. i know you know eh.
and i've been tagged by mira. so here goes:
The rules and regulations:
1. Each player of this game starts off with 10 weirdthings/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2. People who get tagged need to write a blog oftheir own 10 weird things/habits/little knownfacts as well as state this rule clearly.
3. At the end, you need to choose 10 peopleto be tagged and list their names.
4. No tags back !
1. i can cry without any reason.
2. i can act like i'm ok but actually in fact i'm not.
3. i eat so much but i'm still skinny as ever.
4. i ask too much things. heh!
5. i love to poke my gfs. especially nisa. nyahaha :D
6. i love to be sarcastic.
7. i love to bully alysha insyirah binte abdul malik.
8. i hate guys with piercings.
9. i tend to hit myself for no reason. LOL.
10. i lovelove to turn on my bf. nyehahaha!
now i tag you!
i can only think of a few names. but its not compulsory for these people to do uh.
if they wanna do, up to them. if not, then nevermind. hehe.
1) alysha insyirah.
2) durriah.
3) kinah.
4) syirain.
5) ira atiqah.
6) aqy.
7 to 10) whoever wanna do just do.
alrightt. end here.
&oh, did i tell you that alsyha insyirah has a cuter voice then me? :D
goodbye/}
dear you,you're still my heart and soul.
you're still everything i need.
you're still my only one.
i don't have anyone else but you.
ps; thank you alysha and durriah for being there for me yesterday. you guys rock. i ♥ you guys truckloads.
double ps; to siti nurdurriah. please feel better soon. your gfs and me loves you very much.
(:
HIGH FEVER AND EVERYTHING ELSE LOW. TSKK!
