" Let me go home. "

I'm letting out how i feel here. Its gonna be a sad post. So yeah. I'm sorry to babylove. Its gonna be full of vulgarities. I'm sorry ok.

Short summary on what is going on. EDITED THIS POST.

This past few days, weeks, months, i've been perservering. I've been trying really hard to not get into any trouble. I've been trying really hard to make you guys proud. But what do i get in return? Vulgarities? Spitting? Hitting? What did i ever do to the three of you to receive this kind of treatment? I mean like, if you have a problem with me, you could have just told me. Not by doing this. Where's your basic respect for - i won't say daughter/sister la ok, a HUMAN BEING? Cmon la. I have feelings too ok. Not only you guys. Like what the fuck? You guys are stressed and you're venting out the stress on me? Fuck you. Hitting me like i've done something wrong. Like i'm some kind of animal that just pee-ed anyhow around the household surrounding. Spitting on me like i'm some kind of person who is what, lower ranking then all of you? Like i'm some disabled kid? Fuck you man. So what if i'm in ite? So what if my brother does better then me? Its his problem and its his hardwork that he made it to poly. What, i'm in ite and you guys look down on me? Like we're some kind of hopeless bunch of kids? Fuck you. Wake up your idea man! I had the chance to do my O's. I don't want. So whats the problem now? Its my education or your education? Its my life or your life? Fuck it. Whats your problem against how i run my life? I chose to be in ite. I chose to be how i am now. I'm not running against the law. I'm not going against anything, so what the fuck?!

" A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.
SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.
SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'That's none of your business . Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know... Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'The father was furious,
'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.
'The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down ,
and started to think:Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often .
The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
Are you asleep, son?' He asked.No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man.
'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills...The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.
The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.'
Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.' The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.
It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love. If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. "

I really wish. I can have my F back. The way it used to be. The way it was before all this shit happens. Seriously. I miss calling this place my home. It never was. It never will be. It has always been hell. I don't like where i am now. I don't like how this is. I'm sick and tired. I'm still gonna control my anger. I'm still gonna control my patience. I'm not gonna blow. But if i really cannot take it, i'm sorry. I don't want to be known as your daughter. I've really had it. Please god, all i ask is for us to be back as normal again.

I'm done.

On a brighter note.
To wonderful bf.
I need you more then ever now.

Goodbye/}

ANOTHER SUMMER DAY,
Has come and gone away.