Life is full of magical spells that is either casted upon or bestowed.
Life was never easy for fellow human beings.
Then why is there life?

Good morning people. As you must know, i didn't have a good nights sleep yesterday. Because of one thousand and one reasons. Yeah. Now, my head hurts like anything. Arghh. What else is new diyy? Haha. Lamemofo.

I've been thinking, why have i changed this past few months. Maybe to me, the reason was, i lack of ___(whatever this is i really don't know)___. Here are the few possibilities that i could think of:

1. Hope & faith | I've been giving up too easily. Giving up too easily can cause a drastic change in life right?
2. Love | Well, not so la. Maybe from my parents. Yeah. Cause these past few months, i've not been receiving any. And i doubt i will receive any. Cause i'm all grown up. Which is selfish cause then, i'll be expecting more from bf and that will increase the stress for him.
3. Confidence | Haha. I chickened out way too easily cause i'm scared about one thousand and one things. I have no idea why i've been this scared in my life. But i am now.
4. Immune system | Haha! Yes. I think this is the answer. I despardo-ly need some healthy blood to go in my body and help repair my immune system please. It sucks to feel how i'm feeling now. Heh heh. Please?

So i think thats about it. Yeah. See, there are four possible answers, so i don't know which one is which. Maybe all, maybe one, maybe two, three and then again, maybe all. Haha. So yeah. I'll get back to you all again about what exactly is happening. Since i myself don't know. Its not that i don't know, i just don't know. Ok, get it? Yes? No? Me too. HAHA! :)

&People, please, try not to put your wondering nose in other people's problems. Sick and tired of you people poking into other people's problems and in the end its not your problem turns out to be your problem. I'm saying as a whole. Not directed to only A PERSON. Please read this carefully. Alot of people know. So i'll be glad if you just shut the hell up. Yeah. That'll be great. And don't become some superstar try to find fault with anyone. Like i said, its not your problem don't make it your problem. Ok people? Thank you. Appreciate that so much.

On a special note.
To my wonderful bf.
I'm not mad at you for yesterday. I was never mad at you the whole time. I didn't know you were that stressed. I forgive you. And i'm sorry for asking that particular question. Cause thats the only question that pops out in my head when i hear a name that i don't want to hear from now on. Yeah. Cause like i said, i'll do anything to make you happy, to make him happy, to make them happy. I don't want, to be any cause of whatever nonsense that can possibly pop up anymore. I've had enough. I've had enough of being the center person who is always at fault. In the end, i get stressed, you get stressed, we fight, we break. What for? For some problem that it wasn't supposed to be other people's problem and now its becoming their problem and because of them we fight? Not worth it. I'll rather we fight about us then fight about other people. So, i know where i've gone wrong. And i know what to do now. I won't again ask those types of questions. But please, don't make me think that way also. Cause it sucks to think that way. Really it is. I've been up the whole night crying on just because of that stupid question that has been stuck in my head for the past six months. I don't dare to ask cause i know this might happen. So anyway, on a brighter note, i love you too dear. &You know nothing can change that. For now, relax yourself. Don't be too tensed. The more you stress up, the more your health plunges. The more it'll affect the people you love especially your mum. Ok dear? &I really really a hundred times really hope i can meet you today. Ilysm syg. Always and have been. :)

I'm glad thats done and thats out from my chest. Now it feels so much lighter and easier to breathe. Rather then just now so tight macam nak mati. Haha. I'll be going out soon. To my aunts place to do some spring/winter/autumn/summer cleaning. Haha. At night, hopefully i can get to meet him. Thats my last wish. Cause i'll be off tomorrow afternoon. So yeah.