the past few days have been stressing for me. CN test was alright. other then that, problems after problems. i really need to cry. i really need someone i can talk to and all. i thought a certain person could help me, but no, i thought wrong. i can't possibly always go to umi and aziza. its not fair for them cause they have problems of their own too. i just feel that sometimes, i could turn to you, but you weren't there. sigh. you're my everything, i bet you didn't know that. or maybe you do. but you don't want to remember it. anyways, i'm having some motivation course thing today. its been 3 days you, 3 days. i know i can't take it anymore. i know i'll breakdown real soon like how i did today before school and during practical lesson. i can't control my emotions anymore. fuck, i'm becoming like one idiert crying and crying every single day. hurting my mum and myself even more. if only he can hear my prayers and cries..... arghh. fuckfuckfuck.

punching walls, that sounds great. bruises and blood are my best friend :)




" aku masih mampu tersenyum walau hati terluka. "
i don't like to fake things anymore. i just hope this problems of mine will settle soon.
boyfriend, i really need you.