ok. making this a quickie one. i'm really tired. yeah. so, boyfriend called in the afternoon. talked to him for awhile only. so sad :( really. like, walau wei. sigh. nevermind, i get to meet him everyday except for the weekends. but damn, still not enough lah. haish. cobaan C: hee. late afternoon, went to toa payoh. dad changed handphone, again. lol. htc pda. bloody cool i tell you. haha. ok, whatever. then had dinner at fork and spoon then went to singapore basketball center cause brother had prize presentation ceremony. his team got 4th. so he received a medal and a tin of milo since milo was the main sponsor of the tournament. yadayadayada and here i am now back home. haha. nothing much happened today luh. yeah. ally accompanied me. uh huh.

i had a meaningful conversation with my dad just now. this is how it goes;
dad : i have to go up to KL again tomorrow. got problems there.
me : oh, ok. * face like kinda down *
dad : i hope you understand. its not like i want to leave you guys. but i have projects there and all. i need to settle alot of things.
me : yeah. ok. sure.
dad : whats wrong? you unhappy about me going up to KL?
me : its not that i'm unhappy. its just that, we rarely get to see each other ah. its either i see you on saturday night and sunday or sunday morning. then you're back up again in KL. like, so short ah. we spend like a day together and stuff. i just miss having a dad by my side. its been 3 months already like this. sometimes when i can't talk to mama about some stuff, i wanted to turn to you, but you're not there ah. its not that i want you to feel guilty or anything. its just how i feel. i know you do this because you want us to live a nice life, but not knowing how you are in KL is like torturing ah. eventhough i can ask for external help to ask how you're doing but papa sendiri cakap sometimes we cannot trust what they say. then when i want to call and ask how you're doing and how's everything there, i don't know when you're free from meetings. so its like difficult ah. i hope you get where i'm going. i'm not trying to make you feel guilty. this is just how i feel, as your daughter.
dad : i was afraid that you'll say this, but yes i understand. and you have to understand too that i'm not going there to enjoy or anything. i need to finish my business. i got 8 projects to settle and if only i can close 2 or 3 deals, i'm very happy already. but things aren't going as well as planned. you have to understand ok?
me : yeah i do. i just wish someday things will be like it was before. i just wish someday i have my dad back at my side.
dad : i'm always here. i've never been gone from anywhere.
me : * smiled *

i really miss my dad :( &i miss my boyfriend like horribly alot. sigh. things are just different nowadays. and its really difficult for me. healths not good nowadays too. for me and mama. sighsighsigh. all i can say is, i redha with everything that is happening. patience is what i have left. prayers to god is what i always do. and tawakal is the key to everything. its a test from god. and i'm accepting it. dear god, i need you more then anything now.

i miss my boyfriend, i love my boyfriend, i need my boyfriend; badly :(